It’s the end of February and I did not get my quota.
I was just under 7,000 words short from hitting 29,000 or making it a 1k day average.
I got 22, 975 words written this month and 24, 401 last month.
It equals 47,376 total. . . I couldn’t even win NaNoWriMo with both months put together. It’s sad.
It only total average of 793 which just above half of what I wanted. . . (58%) which was 1370
I have goals and written work that I need to do. I plan to get started on it by next week hopefully.
I have been writing at least an hour any day, so that is a good thing. I am also working around my distractions and discouragements.
Goals for March
- I need to get to a daily of 1k.
- I need to work on at least 1 to 1.5 hour a day of writing.
- I want to give myself at least three word sprints.
- I must have at least one-fourth of my writing on my actually novels.
- I want to get some stories finished.
Here is the one thing I will give my ex . . . he supported my writings. (Yeah, sure he wanted majority of the credit when I did majority of the work, but he did always supported my writing.)
Yesterday, I was told that I am writing too much and that it is very unhealthy for me. I have never been so shocked and hurt at once. The worst problem is that she is one of the most positive people I know. I looked up at her, and those damn words just hurt. . . “Medically speaking, as much as you write is not healthy. . .” EXCUSE ME, I am a WRITER! HELLLO!
I just thought out of all of the people in that would have supported . . . she would have hope and positivity for me. . . she was the most positive person I know. WTH?
Then she had the nerve to say that I was too sensitive. . . I have only been writing and creating books since I was in the first grade. (Young Authors). . . I have the right be sensitive. I have been writing like this for 20 plus years and you just now tell me I am writing too much. SCREW YOU!
I just feel it’s like getting a rejection letter saying. . .
F’Off Dreaming Writer,
Give up all hope. . . You will never make it. You’re life isn’t exciting enough. Shut up and take your meds! Lock yourself up and abandon all hope. You are lucky enough I took ten minutes out of my busy day to tell you that you suck.
Who Cares Publisher.
This is what I say. . . I will be writing for myself. If I feel it is good enough for the public to read, then I will publish it . . . Anyone who get in my way will be punished in at least one of my novels. The WRITER: Rebekah Quinne has spoken!
I have been busy! My writing has been slowed down . . . all because my kitty is sick. L He is prone to upper respiratory infections. He could barely breathe out of his mouth for several days. He didn’t want to eat, and was barely drinking. He scared us for a few days. He have him on meds and very expensive food, but it helps his immune system. He has been eating it for several days, and it has cleared up.
He is doing so much better now. He is getting so big. He is eating next to me while I am typing this.
I am also trying to keep my room clean, so that I don’t have to use an entire weekend to get it clean. However I do plan to work on it a little each day, so I do not have too much to do.
I have been writing at least 1 hour everyday so that is good. However I have been getting distracted a lot. It took me a week to get some of my blogs up. . . I should be able to get them up the same day that I am writing them. (The thing is my family is my least distraction . . . it’s the Internet, just keep pulling me away.)
Well, I have to post this and finish folding the laundry.
I’ve been cleaning my room, and the thing you discover a writer’s room is how many pens that they have. . . They were everywhere. . . They were on the floor, in the bins, on the table, on the desk, in my bed, in my pillow etc. I have three different boxes for my pens, and they are almost full. (I actually up graded sizes in August.)
I feel I never have enough pens, pencils or notebooks. (I know I have more than I need at the moment, but it is a cheap, twisted obsession . . .) I have to tell myself at the stores, “NO, I have enough.” I need to go through my bins of writing and get the majority on the computer as it is. . .
I have multi-colors in pens. . . My favorite are Bics. I like the ball-point better than the gels. The gel pens just either dry out or explode too fast. This may drive someone crazy. However, to me, an accomplishment is to write with a pen until it dries out, and Bics take forever (at least two entire notebooks). I think the most pens to go out on me are seven, but I now use my computer just as much so the pens do not go out. I usually average a notebook a month. I write lists, ideas, pieces of my work, or short stories, poems, etc.
Many author writers focus on plot—they want the reader go on the journey and to see the obstacles and conflict within the story.
I love to focus on the characters—I like to believe in people. (I like to think just because I have found a few bad apples in my life that the majority of the living are trying to do good at heart. It has taken a few lessons in this . . . Just today, someone kind of opened my eyes . . . thanks Sean.)
I want my readers to love and/or hate my characters, because either way they are reading my book and talking about them. I want characters relatable and believable. (For example, one of my characters looks like or relates to someone else’s ex. This was a pure accident, but I could see why they probably wouldn’t like them. )
I want my readers to laugh with my characters, to cry with my characters. I just want them to feel what my characters are going through. My stories are like empathetic shoes for my characters. . . (Going with the saying, “Until you walk a mile in another person’s shoes, do you even begin to understand them.”) As a person and a writer, I am very empathetic towards my characters, and hope the readers can be the same. (Yes, I cry when I kill certain characters off, and I yell at my book when my muses and character take it a different direction. I am weird and crazy, I know.)
I feel in the end people is what makes the world important . . . You are either doing something for someone else, yourself or both.
Have you ever gotten that idea in the middle of the night but you know you need sleep? Or am I the only one this happens to?
I mean I try to roll over, but the idea gets more vivid and my muses and characters get louder . . . it’s like at the point where they are jumping up and down and yelling at me. I write down the idea in a notebook where it gets lost until the morning or whenever I am reorganizing my totes.
I know many of my characters are vampires and ghosts, but do they not know that I need some sleep? LOL.
I keep getting weird dreams and ideas at like two-three in the morning. It sucks when my family has been encouraging me to have a normal schedule . . . what if night writing schedule is normal for me?
What if I am screwing myself up? I need to stop with the “what if” and go work on my writing.
I’m 33 . . . I am living with my family (again, I am very grateful). I just got out of an eight year relationship in which my ex only cared about himself and I got really sick. Then he changed and cheated on me twice and left me for another girl. I went back to my family (father’s side). My father causes more stress and anxiety for me, because I don’t do things his way.
I miss doing things my way even if I had to live with a jackass. I sometimes liked eating at 10 at night or dishes at 3 and playing my music whenever. Making food I want (although the food he is really awesome.) I like buying pop and knowing I still have some. I like waking up when I want and going to bed when I want, because I wanted to do so.
At first, I thought I would want a family. I know now I am not the type for kids (they were pushed on me at such a young age.) I want a guy who loves me for me.
Honestly, I thought by now I would be selling many of my books, going on book and lecture tours. I thought my books would be bigger than Twilight.
I just feel like a failure. I feel like am a mental mess. I have nothing and I feel like nothing!
Overall, I just want to be happy.