Diamond in the clique rough

I have a naughty muse (Starred is my erotic muse,) and lately she has wanted to come out in my paranormal and horror writing. 

So if I feel the scene is going naughty I will write the scene twice. I write erotica faster than my therapy writing lately. So I have both scenes. It helps for word counts in nanowrimo and keeps me busy. 

I found a section in one of my naughty scenes. . . (The scene is between Lucy and Lyric fooling around when they are both taken.) I know this line sounds generic and clique but it sounded good to me. 

“She needed him–she knew he needed her. She wanted him and didn’t want to give him back. She secretly and denabliy believed that if she gave him everything he wanted, that he would feel the same way for her. ”

Rebekah Quinne’s (c) copyrights 2017

I felt like my paranormal writing is slowly turning into a clique romance writing. What kills me is that the guy is not the same in reality that is in her head. (But the be honest, is it ever?) She wants love, but he knows she will do anything (including naughty stuff) to keep the idea of him. He uses this to his intimate and sexual advantage. 

I should add a ghost to the scene, but then I start to wonder if I add too much paranormal does it build or cut storyline?

I probably should add something to make more showing and less telling

My brain never stops and my muses are always evolving. 

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Show N Tell SHHHH

First of all, I must give this idea credit to Diane Nebelung https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009995013517&fref=nf

She has a several writing groups on facebook. I know I am in a few.

When I got up this morning, I had no idea that I would be learning and working on my weakness. . . Show Vs. Tell. However I am glad that I am.

 

Some things I learned. . .

“When writing a novel, keep these guidelines in mind to achieve a balance of showing and telling:

  • Be brief. Make sure that all of your “telling” details are actually necessary to advance the plot, either by developing backstory, establishing the mood/tone, or describing the setting.
  • Avoid the dreaded “info dump.” Don’t overwhelm your reader with information in your story’s first few pages. Focus on capturing her attention with a compelling character and an interesting situation, then fold in the details as the plot develops.
  • Steer clear of cliches. Never start a story with a character waking up and starting his day—unless you want to put your reader to sleep.” Diane Nebelung

You need to read. . . familiar authors and pieces from your genres.

I mention that when I write the first draft, I probably tell 95% of the time. However when I edit, I reread and rewrite scene three to twenty times to add more show in it. (Many agreed with me on this. . . first draft is like coal. . . it takes pressure, editing, and tweaking to make a diamond.)

 

 

Advice: “Be true to yourself, your readers and your characters. Show us what we need to see, and tell us what we need to know, to make your world as real as you can. You create the mind movie for us to watch, and that can involve both forms of story telling.

Read more from your favorite authors, and you will find your own style and blend of story-telling will come to life.” Dusty Grein https://www.facebook.com/dustygee123?fref=nf

 

EXAMPLES

Ex1. She longily caressed his face. (the adverb seems out of sorts here. Is there a way to describe it? )

I said “The smooth, cool skin of his cheek was more than she bear. Tears flowed from her eyes, she tried to hide them. It was no used. She could not believe she was face to face and touching her celebrity crush.”

Ex 2. Here is a nice boring sentence. Daniel walked down the street.

I said “Daniel ambled down the street, with no thought in his head but one. . . should he tell them?”

 

 

 

Some links. . .

 

http://www.scribophile.com/academy/the-show-versus-tell-debate

https://www.facebook.com/events/1696550477275910/1697630137167944/