Camp NaNoUpdate

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression, and it has been very hard on my body and mind. This means my writing has been suffering.

I have changed my project from Family project to short stories. . . If an idea inspires me, then I write it down. Then I just accumulate the word count of each story. I might post some on my flash fiction blog. . . http://rqshortstories.wordpress.com

I am also not pushing myself. (I had one break down and lost entire weekend to depression, reoccurring mono and sleep.)

I gave myself 30,000 words as a goal. If I make it, awesome. If I do not make it, then I can try again in November.

I hope just get some decent stories written, at this point word count is as it is.

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Writing Suggestion

First of all, this is not advice, because deep down 90% of people never take the advice when someone gives it anyway.

Secondly, I writing this blog more for myself (self talk), but if it helps others . . . awesome!

My suggestion: Focus on your own writings. 

Do not worry if some self-published writer had 60 novels and three amazon awards.
(It doesn’t make you any less of a writer.) 
Just say congrads and if they have a book give away, read it and see what the hype is. (Note: They might not even be in your genres.)

Write down your goals and dreams and focus on what you want to do for you. 
Be happy when you even get one fan (that is not a friend or family, who would say that you are good no matter what. . . And thank your family for their support and putting up with you. . . you can get cranky interrupted from your writing mode. )
Enjoy the compliments. (Say thank you and focus back into your work)
Use the criticism to help your work. (Remember not everyone is going to enjoy your work. Focus on your target audience, once your figure out who they are.)

Stop comparing your work to others.
Your work is different and your fans enjoy work.

Focus and you can make your dreams come true!

 

First Third of 2019

So far up to date I have 242,413 words written. It averages 1,939 words per day. (My goal is 2,000 words per day and I’m pretty close.)

At this rate if I keep up writing at 1,939 words per day I will be at 707,735 words by the end of the year. (My yearly goal is 750,000 words this year.)

This includes. . . (by not limited to)

  • Novels
  • Rewrites/edits
  • Diary
  • Blogs
  • Lists
  • Stories
  • Emails/chatting(especially storytelling)
  • Notes/research

Note: I try to write everyday even if its just notes, diary entries or lists. However there are some days when I’m just too weak to write. I do try my best to make it up.

Thoughts in my head at 4am

It’s always happen this way . . . it’s 4am in the morning and my brain and my muses will NOT wine down.

It can be any other day when I am not doing anything and they do not want to work either.
However when I have to get up and go to do errands.

My brain just keep going and going.  . . . So many thoughts.

  • Will I ever finish my book if my computer keeps corrupting my files? (Grrr)
  • Why does overheating cause my files to corrupt? (I just do not know why those would even be related. I’m so flustered that I put over a week of work only for it to go to a black screen just at the last line. . . just before I hit save. GRRRR. (I lose a week worth of word count just about 8,000 words, my computer over heated and entire chapter got corrupted. . . GRRRRR)
  • Am I really talented or am I wasting time? (I am torn with this, but then again hours of writing with coffee, soda or tea in my travel mug. . . is my currently bliss. I just would love to be famous or at least Very well known for my written work. I want to be the author if Stephen King and Anne Rice had a kid together. . . I know it sounds weird, but I love both author’s works. I already have three people within the week that are interested in my driving thriller. )
  • Do NaNoWriMo or Camp NaNoWriMo really help? (I mean I push myself for that month to get words in my books, but are they that good? Do I really need to push my novel in so many weeks like Stephen King does? I mean he already has several publisher. . . Why am I even asking myself those questions? It’s my damn anxiety and depression monsters trying to think they are logical, but they are just trying to keep me down so that they get more powerful. Grrrr)
  • Why do I keep getting hit on by guys 50 or older? (I feel like I am the good kid that parents all liked a bit too much.) (It would be really weird the guys 20 years older than me look at me like a healthy sexual being.) Age is a thing to me. . . I would like someone closer to my age. There is a difference between 10 years, defiantly between 20 years. (I mean back when my uncle went to school they had a smoking lounge. Matters, slang, how people look at things all change with time. I have not found anyone 10 years and older that truly understand me.)
  • Why can’t I play Words with Friends (WWF) without getting guys 50 plus who have kids and instantly think I want to fill the void of their dead wife? (I do not want to be a replacement “mommy” while my own body will not allow me to make my own, and the guy my father’s age is having a secret affair with his secretary. I just want to play a game of scramble and beat my highest score of 437. I use words with friends and word scape to keep my brain fresh for my writing and reading skills.)
  • Will I get ever get professionally published? (This does not be self-published to be lost in the amazon.com sea of so-so books. I mean to find a real publisher, agent, and editor on my team to help me sell and promote my book while they have me go from book store to book store signing books while everyone want to know what will happen next in my vampire and ghost series. I need a real publisher and editor. . . I am so overwhelmed. )
  • Will I get a better place and have bigger desk, nicer pc, and cat? (I also want a kitchen, bath tub, and my own recliner. When will this happen?)

 

It’s almost 5 am. . . I think I need to sleep now. . . hopefully dreaming of publishing and getting a nicer place.

NaNoWriMo Break

I’m taking the day off as I wrote over 3500 word yesterday after I helped with laundry, went shopping, and cooked fried fish for dinner.  I am at 25,149 words out of my goal of 35,000 with 9 more days to write. I really think I can make this goal. . . my bigger goal to myself is to get the book completed. 

I’m excited as even my family wants to read my book.

Anyway, I play two word games to keep my brain fresh. . .

Wordscapes.  Which is fun if I can get the bigger words first. . . . I usually only have one or two on a set that just fluster me.

Word With Friends (2) . . . I love a good game of boogle or scramble. However I keep getting way older guys trying to see scams or wives. I am just trying to workout my brain. I am not trying to get hit on by random guys. (Worst part I rarely find any guys my own age.)

So today we (my friend, brother and I) made three hams, sweet potatoes, baked beans, mashed potatoes, and bean soup. All we have to do is make plates for Easter dinner tomorrow, awesome. I will also post ham ideas on my food blog. . . https://cookingimprov.home.blog/

So tonight, I am relaxing with my word games and maybe a movie.

I’m a writer

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This week has been up and down. I’ve been fighting both writer’s block and depression (and yes, I think they are linked this time).

I have always had issues with my physical appearance as I am bigger woman. I have tried the exercise and diets ,. . . I will lose 20 ponds here or there, but I still end up gaining it back and then some. I have learned to deal with myself.  So when someone calls me beautiful, pretty, cute etc. . . I will say thank you but I usually blow it off. (As there are usually at least two negative comments on weight compared to the positive.)

However. 

The comments, compliment, encourage comes from my writing truly makes my day!

  • I love when those say they love my writing.
  • They said they enjoyed my writing.
  • When they say they want to read more.
  • When they say my writing touches their soul.
  • When they say they can relate to characters.
  • When they call me a real writer.
  • When they said I will be published soon. (They had more hope than I did.)

Writing comments and compliments mean more to me as physical issues only last so long, but my writing can touch other now and in the future.

Revising my writing and myself

Have you ever reread a piece of your own writing and asked yourself any one of the following. .

  • What was I thinking when I wrote that?
  • What was I trying to say?
  • Why did I just repeat myself?
  • Why didn’t I give enough information?
  • Where was I going with that?
  • Why did I use the cliché?
  • Was I trying to piss my audience off?

The last one made me laugh.

The thing I have learned like any art that writing is never truly finished. There is always a tweak or change an author can make . . . it was will turn the story completely different.

I also noticed that version A never looks like or sounds like version ZZZ.

However I have found a piece of editing that I do like that is when I get to rewrite. My problem from this when I am trying to subtract word from my lengthy novels . . . when I rewrite I usually add even more. I need to learn how to describe things in a condensed and efficient way.

My other issues when I leave words out from typing too much. I have to read and reread to catch the words that are missing.

I hope someday to be well-do enough to get a professional editor to look over my work. It really needs it.