Confession #5: I hate endings

writing confession again

I hate endings. . .
I hate writing them.
I hate reading them.
I hate when the book is done.

I love the fresh, new beginning. The nervousness, the excitement of the unknown. NOT endings, I hate how all endings are just over.

I like staying in the path. . .  just keep moving.
I love crossroads where you can stay, go back or keep going.
I enjoy look at tunnel knowing there is still a journey a head. I hate the light at the end. . . it’s over.

Sorry, I just finished reading a book. 

You put all of the energy to love or hate the characters and just as everything figures itself out . . . it’s all done.

I’m not saying some endings are bad, some are brilliant. However those who end with leaving me on the edge. This book did that . . . yes I know it’s a trilogy, so on to book two. (I’m done with my rant.)

New Writing Series: Dealing with People

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I’ve learned a few things about myself and socializing over the years.

  • I really don’t think I am that good it (socializing). I always feared of saying the wrong thing growing up.
  • Now that I am older, I believe in the truth; this show who my real friends are and who can handle me, and sometimes who I can handle. (if that dress doesn’t work for you, I am not afraid to say so.)
  • I speak more when I am drinking, but I do not drink a lot. I have health issues and drinking can really mess those up.
  • I am really more anti-social as I get older. A part of it is that I don’t want to put extra energy into a friendship in which I will just used. Another part is I do like my own time for reading and writing.

So I do majority of my socializing online. I am in many writing groups. I am very social in October just before NaNoWriMo.

I have learned there are groups of people once you tell them that I writing a book or stories (and that I dream of being a famous author) . . .

I deal with each differently.

It’s not good or bad. I try not be a b**** or brat. . .

I try to treat everyone civil. (Yeah, I have my mood swings and can get jealous and cranky. It’s usually just my imbalanced hormones.)

This is my series. . . the different people I deal with as a writer.

Stuck in a web of writer’s block

writers-block

I had plans for writing everyday and post a bunch of blogs. . . it has not happened because as of Dec 30th circumstances had changed.

I hope to get things back to my goals soon, but for now please be patient with me. (I think I am writing this more for myself than my few, wonderful readers.)

Many of my friends on here have been asking about me. . . I am currently numb. I just helped an ex (who was still a good friend of mine) he had gotten a liver transplant in August and was good until his sudden death a week ago. I am still trying to spin my head around this.

It started with an exploratory surgery and ended 14 days later with my ex (still a good friend) dying of cancer of his new liver, in his stomach, and lymph nodes.

I just don’t understand, I was talking to him, watching him work on physical therapy one day and two days later in tears as they announced time of death.

I had been blocked because I had been busy going back and forth from ICU to my appointments and such . . . I little time to think clearly. Now I have time, I’m just stunned.

I due plan to continue with writing, but I just do NOT know how fast it will be. (He would have wanted me to never stop my writing. I hope that he’ll be my inspiration.) 

 

Writing Goals for 2017

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Writing Goals for 2017

  1. I want to write 1 to 4 hour (averaging at 2.5).
  2. I want to give myself 3 to 10 (20 minutes) word sprints daily (averaging 5)
  3. I want to finish old projects.
  4. I want to work on some new project ideas.
  5. I want to explore new genres.
  6. I want to get some short stories published.
  7. I want to write 200 blogs (over all of my blogs)
  8. I want to write about my depression and anxiety.
  9. I want to enter some contests. (Including Camp NaNoWriMo and NaNoWriMo)
  10. I know I NEED to edit several projects.
  11. I just want to write something everyday.
  12. I want to write more books reviews.
  13. I want to read more. (2 books a month.)

New Project Ideas

  1. Adult works
  2. Blog Prompts
  3. Story Prompts
  4. Writing Tips
  5. Romance
  6. Spirituality
  7. Anxiety and depression ideas
  8. Diabetes project
  9. Character video project

Projects that I need to Finish

  1. Love Need Time (rewrite novel idea)
  2. Hero project (comic idea)
  3. DWAG (online soap opera)
  4. College story
  5. Driving Lies part 3

Projects I need to edit

  1. The Whisper Path
  2. Melzela
  3. Darken Cake
  4. Many short stories
  5. Driving Lies Parts 1 & 2

What Happened in 2016

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2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.

Things I accomplished in 2016.

  1. I wrote over 50 blogs in this page. (140 blogs throughout all of my pages).Links to my other blogs
  2. I have at least 15 followers. ( I hope I have entertained and help some follow writers. I also to get more this year.)
  3. I written over 225,000 words ( I know not quite the goal of 500,000, but not bad with all I have gone through.)
  4. I started Book 2 in my vampire series. (However due to some emotional issues; it is on the back burner for a while.)
  5. I have written two diaries this year.

Things I have learned in 2016

  1. I have figured out some of my muses. https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/10/19/introduction-my-muses/
  2. I realized that winning NaNoWriMo doesn’t stop the world. It isn’t everything. (Bit does feel good when I win. I’m sad because they don’t work with http://www.createspace.com anymore.)
  3. I write really well in chaos, especially while visiting in the hospital. (I’m even there now.)
  4. I write way more than I edit.
  5. I am more of an adder than a cutter when it comes to words.
  6. I can not write well around who don’t support it.
  7. I was suggested to put my paranormal/horror/occult genres aside for a while. . . (until I figure the source of my depression and anxiety.)
  8. I will still write even though many people think I write too much.
  9. I give myself much more ambitious goals than I can achieve. (for example: write 500,000 words.) I plan to push it down to 300,000 words in 2017.
  10. It has been a very emotional year for my muses and I.
  11. I was easily distracted this year.
  12. I rather edit than clean.
  13. I need to realize that writing is for me. It is a good expression of therapy for me.
  14. I had a therapy book and/or release book before I started therapy.
  15. The people I looked up to were the ones who seem to criticize when I wrote a lot.

I’m trying to take things more seriously

Writing-Confessions

I love to have fun and be a kid at heart, but that is not paying the bills.
I like to think that I am pretty professional on this blog.
I try to use my experience and links I find to help others.
I hope to be encouraging and give other effective tips.

However my audience isn’t that big.
I am not sure how much of difference I am making.
I hope to improve that in 2017.
I also hope to get something published next year.

I seem to give myself goals and yet I get discouraged and dishearten from it and usually fall short.

I refuse to fall short of my goals next year.

I am going to try to take myself and my writings more seriously.

2017 is going to be my year!