I haven’t been on as I have been writing Short Stories.
I have been writing over 7,000 words in the last 80 hours . . . it’s a good pick up from being in a writer’s back from October to January and part of February. However I have so many idea for erotica. So my muses Zoe and Starre have been very busy.
However I plan to write next month . . . doing Camp NaNoWriMo . . .
November is National Novel Writing Month,I’ve won 8 out of 10 years.
I set next month for 30,000 words, which is a 1,000 per day. I believe I can do that.
Now I need to
List all ideas I want to work with
Cut list down
Outline and notes to each ideas
Research what I don’t know.
I am hoping to write book of adult short stories, and I hope to sell it.
I have gotten so many positive reviews saying that I am good writer so I hope to make a living with it.
However I will be publishing in another pen name still working on it.
I wanted to work on this dragon story for my brothers. I used Tom tell them stories at bed time. The stories were about Star wars, dragons, Harry Potter etc. Whatever story I made up, I would put them in it. I would make my special effects, sounds and I would add some humor relief.
I always wanted to write a story about dragons and add them in it. . . Bring my brothers to my created world.
However my sci-fi and fantasy muse Luna, is not that loud, busy or strong. . . Not confident as those are not my natural genres. It hard for me to get that genre because I have my head filled with horror, thriller, paranormal, drama, romance, and erotica. (My muses really have been pushing the drama and erotica.)
I guess I just miss my brothers. . . I know my inspiration will lead back if I am truly meant to write it. . . But I can’t even figure out a villain or an outline.
I feel it’s not right to fight it. I’m not giving up, but it needs to simmer in the inspiration pot some more. I learned when I push work, especially writing, I just end up stuck, in a writer’s block.
I’m just going to give my muses a chance to lead me for a while.
I am going to a Therapist. . . I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
I usually write in misery; it helps with conflict. However there are times where my depression is so bad I have to fight with it to just get out bed. . . so getting discipline and motivation to write are sometimes near impossible to me.
I feel currently I am in a Sonic The Hedgehog game, “the casino level” where I am stuck in a valley of the bouncy wedges. You try to get out, but you bounce right back in the damn valley. I feel like that now. . . I help out, something goes good, I help some more, something gets screwed up and I am back in the damn valley. Grrrrr.
It’s hard to write when I feel personally stuck.
However I am here because I am struggling, but I count each word, each sentence, and each page full of words a victory.
I really wish I could just write without this damn gray cloud over my head.
I just really feel discouraged. I want to feel productive, but I just feel like an empty drone in everyone’s way. I feel like my pen’s ink will dry up while I untangle my thoughts.
I hope my characters are not suffering like I am.
I appreciate the inspiration and motivation where I can get it.