Muses vs what I want to do vs inspiration

I wanted to work on this dragon story for my brothers. I used Tom tell them stories at bed time. The stories were about Star wars, dragons, Harry Potter etc. Whatever story I made up, I would put them in it. I would make my special effects, sounds and I would add some humor relief.

I always wanted to write a story about dragons and add them in it. . . Bring my brothers to my created world.

However my sci-fi and fantasy muse Luna, is not that loud, busy or strong. . . Not confident as those are not my natural genres. It hard for me to get that genre because I have my head filled with horror, thriller, paranormal, drama, romance, and erotica. (My muses really have been pushing the drama and erotica.)

I guess I just miss my brothers. . . I know my inspiration will lead back if I am truly meant to write it. . . But I can’t even figure out a villain or an outline.

I feel it’s not right to fight it. I’m not giving up, but it needs to simmer in the inspiration pot some more. I learned when I push work, especially writing, I just end up stuck, in a writer’s block.

I’m just going to give my muses a chance to lead me for a while.

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Relations vs writing part 2 

I posted this in November Balancing Romance and Writing . . . 

Summary: I had a guy who I wanted to be my boyfriend for about six weeks, but we are in two different places in our lives. However we agreed to be just friends, and I am glad to have him in my life ( minus the his complaining.)

Most people ( minus my supporting mom and brother) say I write too much, but my friend said it was okay for me to write

I tried to write while he worked, so when he was home, I could spend time with him. I was trying to give my undivided attention to him as I learned in the past that I annoyed others being stuck in my own world. 

The thing is that the longer I stay away from my writing, the less of myself, I feel. . .

I know who I am. . . 

  • I am a writer and storyteller! 
  • I am brutually honest and yet vividly creative.
  • I can not leave the house for days at a time with my head in a tablet or computer screen.
  • I love lists and have scheduled my life around my writing. 
  • I’m a creative mess, but I am a damn good, semi-organized researcher. 
  • I need someone who encourages me. 


I do not need . . .

  • Someone who wants kids. ( I prefer my four pawed babies, cats.)
  • Someone complaining that we had another slow-cooker dinner, (please be grateful I am a damn creative and good cook.)
  • Someone who doesn’t want to be immortalized in my written work, (because a high chance he will inspire a character or two or ten.)
  • Someone who says I write too much. 
  • Someone who says I am too messy.
  • Someone who says I am too moody ( when it comes to writing, I’m not cranky, I’m passionate.)

  I’m not a family originated female. I’m fine with that. I’m fun, positive, talkative, and perky. I’m auntie Becky and I’m fine with that. 

I just need someone who understands. . . I’m a writer. I will not change myself for anyone!

If a guy cannot handle that then he needs to find someone else

People Series: Non-Supporters: Non-wr

3. Non-writers

They are those who don’t usually read or write very much unless they have too. They avoid it like a plague, and they have no idea why writers and readers enjoy it so much.

They don’t understand why you are writing so much. . . the list is really endless. . .

  • Therapy
  • Enjoyment
  • You love to tell a good story
  • You feel connected to your character
  • You have a talent for words
  • Expression
  • You feel you need to write as much as you need to breath
  • The list goes on

They feel writers sometimes make no sense and are in a book or the computer way too long. It’s like an artist trying to explain a Picasso painting to a chest player who only see logical strategies and numbers.

A writer sees the world in a different way than those non-writers. They see the world as a story to be told or idea to be expressed. They are an artist with words as their paint.

Not all Non-writers, are non-supporters, but some just cannot relate. I have been asked “How can you sit the computer so long?” or “You really just wrote 2,500 words in the last three hours, how?”

I can sit at my computer and type and write and read like a video gamer can sit in from the TV or computer screen and play for hours at a time.

What gets me when is when a non-supporters: non-writer is completely against writing/reading.

The ones that put me down: with gut-punching quotes. . .

  • “You write or read too much.”
  • “It’s not steady or stable.”
  • “You are NOT out doing something. . .”
  • “You are wasting time on the computer.”
  • “Why aren’t you living your life?”
  • “Have you gotten a REAL job yet?”
  • “Why are you ignoring everyone?”
  • “You really think you are going to make a lot of money doing that?”

They kind of mix in with questioners.

Remember a novel does NOT get finished in one night. It takes time and dedication. It’s a lot of work to write, edit, rewrite, and edit. . . that is even before getting it in a publisher’s hands.

 

Most writer’s do NOT make millions and do NOT become super famous over night either. They should have some kind of support, because it hard to get out there.

People Series: Non-supporters: Questioners

2. Questioners.

They are people who keeping asking questions about your work and when you plan to get publish that they start to make you doubt yourself. Then you start to question yourself.

  • Is it really stable to make money writing a book?
  • How long do you think it will take?
  • Did your editor get all of your mistakes?
  • Are you sure you going to finish this?
  • How many publishers have you talked to?
  • Are you sure you want to do this with your time?
  • Are you sure you enjoy this?
  • What is is about?
  • Haven’t vampire, werewolves, ghosts, sex etc been done to death?
  • Are you sure it’s good?

The questions that really get to you start with “Are you sure” those are the questions that plant doubt within you. . . make you question yourself.

  • Am I good enough?
  • Will I get get published?
  • Will people actually read and like my work?
  • Should I really be writing?

Doubt goes into guilt and then guilt goes into fear. . . and next thing you know you are in therapy with writer’s block.

You need to let yourself know that there will be these people in your life. Use them to keep things in check instead of letting it get to you.

Instead of doubting yourself try to use the questions and making then into goals.

Is it really stable to make money writing a book? It can be, but you can do side jobs or part time work to have some money so you can write as well. You also make money writing. . . there are online contest for short stories or some magazines that take articles.

How long do you think it will take? It depends on how inspired you are and how determined you. Make mini goals. . . like within the first two weeks to have up to chapter 4 completed or a certain word count.

  • Did your editor get all of your mistakes?
  • Are you sure you going to finish this?
  • How many publishers have you talked to?

Just deal it when it happens. I do recheck my and other work, because I am that much of a control freak.

  • Are you sure you want to do this with your time?
  • Are you sure you enjoy this?

You would NOT be doing this, if there was not some kind of enjoyment in it. If you enjoy something, then it is NOT a waste of time.

What is is about? If you have to explain your story; they are not listening or they are confused.

Haven’t vampire, werewolves, ghosts, sex etc been done to death? Write what you like or know, others will enjoy it too. They are cycles in their fads. . .

Are you sure it’s good?

This question is worst question out of all them. . . this is the one that causes the most doubt. You need to break yourself from the haunting voice that echoes this question in your head like a very bad ghost. When you are writing do NOT think about how good or bad it is.

When writing draft one ultimate goal is to finish the work/novel/story etc.

Focus making things better to understand and to read when you edit your work a million times over.

Again do not people like this get in your head, just use them to help your goals and focus.

People series: Non-supporters

First these people can be divided into two groups. . . supporter and the non-supporters.

I will get into the non-supporters.

The Indifferent Busy People

Questioners

Non-writers

“I like Everything.”

Jealous ones

Overzealous Readers (Of other authors)

However as I writer, even non supporters, have inspired  and motivated me.

New Writing Series: Dealing with People

I’ve learned a few things about myself and socializing over the years.

  • I really don’t think I am that good it (socializing). I always feared of saying the wrong thing growing up.
  • Now that I am older, I believe in the truth; this show who my real friends are and who can handle me, and sometimes who I can handle. (if that dress doesn’t work for you, I am not afraid to say so.)
  • I speak more when I am drinking, but I do not drink a lot. I have health issues and drinking can really mess those up.
  • I am really more anti-social as I get older. A part of it is that I don’t want to put extra energy into a friendship in which I will just used. Another part is I do like my own time for reading and writing.

So I do majority of my socializing online. I am in many writing groups. I am very social in October just before NaNoWriMo.

I have learned there are groups of people once you tell them that I writing a book or stories (and that I dream of being a famous author) . . .

I deal with each differently.

It’s not good or bad. I try not be a b**** or brat. . .

I try to treat everyone civil. (Yeah, I have my mood swings and can get jealous and cranky. It’s usually just my imbalanced hormones.)

This is my series. . . the different people I deal with as a writer.

Stuck in a web of writer’s block

I had plans for writing everyday and post a bunch of blogs. . . it has not happened because as of Dec 30th circumstances had changed.

I hope to get things back to my goals soon, but for now please be patient with me. (I think I am writing this more for myself than my few, wonderful readers.)

Many of my friends on here have been asking about me. . . I am currently numb. I just helped an ex (who was still a good friend of mine) he had gotten a liver transplant in August and was good until his sudden death a week ago. I am still trying to spin my head around this.

It started with an exploratory surgery and ended 14 days later with my ex (still a good friend) dying of cancer of his new liver, in his stomach, and lymph nodes.

I just don’t understand, I was talking to him, watching him work on physical therapy one day and two days later in tears as they announced time of death.

I had been blocked because I had been busy going back and forth from ICU to my appointments and such . . . I little time to think clearly. Now I have time, I’m just stunned.

I due plan to continue with writing, but I just do NOT know how fast it will be. (He would have wanted me to never stop my writing. I hope that he’ll be my inspiration.)