My next project

I haven’t been on as I have been writing Short Stories.

I have been writing over 7,000 words in the last 80 hours . . . it’s a good pick up from being in a writer’s back from October to January and part of February. However I have so many idea for erotica. So my muses Zoe and Starre have been very busy.

However I plan to write next month . . . doing Camp NaNoWriMo . . .

November is National Novel Writing Month,I’ve won 8 out of 10 years.

I set next month for 30,000 words, which is a 1,000 per day. I believe I can do that.

Now I need to

  • List all ideas I want to work with
  • Cut list down
  • Outline and notes to each ideas
  • Research what I don’t know.

I am hoping to write book of adult short stories, and I hope to sell it.
I have gotten so many positive reviews saying that I am good writer so I hope to make a living with it.

However I will be publishing in another pen name still working on it.

Advertisements

Damn it my hands. . . Grrr

I love to write. The feel of a good pen in my hands as it glides on the page. It invites the words, the color, the creativity.

However my hands have been swelling and cramping for weeks now. I tried water pills, but I sleep and they are swollen again. There are cramps as I write. Pushing down on my palm hurts, moving it too much hurts.

It hurts to hold a pen or a fork. It hurts to make a fist. These damn cramps. I probably have arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome.

I refuse to give up my writing. I felt due my ear issue, I had give up music. I’m not giving up my writing too.

Maybe I can get my computer fixed soon . . . So I can type more.

I’m going to the doctor soon.

Muses vs what I want to do vs inspiration

I wanted to work on this dragon story for my brothers. I used Tom tell them stories at bed time. The stories were about Star wars, dragons, Harry Potter etc. Whatever story I made up, I would put them in it. I would make my special effects, sounds and I would add some humor relief.

I always wanted to write a story about dragons and add them in it. . . Bring my brothers to my created world.

However my sci-fi and fantasy muse Luna, is not that loud, busy or strong. . . Not confident as those are not my natural genres. It hard for me to get that genre because I have my head filled with horror, thriller, paranormal, drama, romance, and erotica. (My muses really have been pushing the drama and erotica.)

I guess I just miss my brothers. . . I know my inspiration will lead back if I am truly meant to write it. . . But I can’t even figure out a villain or an outline.

I feel it’s not right to fight it. I’m not giving up, but it needs to simmer in the inspiration pot some more. I learned when I push work, especially writing, I just end up stuck, in a writer’s block.

I’m just going to give my muses a chance to lead me for a while.

A common error

I’m working several projects at the same time. I keep noticing that I keep typing the main character from project a in my project b.

I’m so glad I’m only working on draft one of both. There are so many scratches, and cross-outs.

I know it sounds weird but I have just half of chapter on project b before it’s finished. I’m so excited. I’m trying not to burn myself out. Endings always drive me crazy.

Random writing facts about me

  1. I feel I can never write too much.
  2. I can clean and cook, but I am not productive unless I am writing.
  3. I love to write lists, menus, grocery, to-do, idea etc.. It helps me to be organized and calm my anxiety.
  4. I’m picky about my co-writers and editors. I feared people will take my ideas.
  5. I feel accomplished when my pen runs out. Papermate pens run out fast. Bic pen take longer and they are a big accomplishment.
  6. I love writing by hand. Pen and paper do not electricity.
  7. I need to read more.
  8. I have at least five projects in my head.
  9. I fight my depression and my exhaustion vs my productive writing.
  10. I currently have at least four active blogs, and several inactive older blogs. I will post links on another page.
  11. I write poetry, short stories, novellas, novels, and blogs.
  12. I love to write. It is who I am, a writer. I hope someday for a professional publisher to publish and sell my work.
  13. I am obsessed with number 13 and put it my writings often.

Sigh

I don’t just feel useless and depressed, but now I’m starting to feel hopeless too.

I feel depressed over some mental (not writing is one of them, which makes me feel useless,) emotionally I’m lonely and even my therapy friends are too busy to listen, and my physical health issues.

A friend of mine who has always been very encouraging to me put down my writing. I know not everyone is going to like my work, but he didn’t just put down my writing, but my future hopes and dreams. (Thing is he didn’t base it on my talent, but my lack of connections.)

Writing is the number one thing to my happiness. It has been for years. Why would someone try to bash it?

What a way to start 2018.

Relations vs writing part 2 

I posted this in November Balancing Romance and Writing . . . 

Summary: I had a guy who I wanted to be my boyfriend for about six weeks, but we are in two different places in our lives. However we agreed to be just friends, and I am glad to have him in my life ( minus the his complaining.)

Most people ( minus my supporting mom and brother) say I write too much, but my friend said it was okay for me to write

I tried to write while he worked, so when he was home, I could spend time with him. I was trying to give my undivided attention to him as I learned in the past that I annoyed others being stuck in my own world. 

The thing is that the longer I stay away from my writing, the less of myself, I feel. . .

I know who I am. . . 

  • I am a writer and storyteller! 
  • I am brutually honest and yet vividly creative.
  • I can not leave the house for days at a time with my head in a tablet or computer screen.
  • I love lists and have scheduled my life around my writing. 
  • I’m a creative mess, but I am a damn good, semi-organized researcher. 
  • I need someone who encourages me. 


I do not need . . .

  • Someone who wants kids. ( I prefer my four pawed babies, cats.)
  • Someone complaining that we had another slow-cooker dinner, (please be grateful I am a damn creative and good cook.)
  • Someone who doesn’t want to be immortalized in my written work, (because a high chance he will inspire a character or two or ten.)
  • Someone who says I write too much. 
  • Someone who says I am too messy.
  • Someone who says I am too moody ( when it comes to writing, I’m not cranky, I’m passionate.)

  I’m not a family originated female. I’m fine with that. I’m fun, positive, talkative, and perky. I’m auntie Becky and I’m fine with that. 

I just need someone who understands. . . I’m a writer. I will not change myself for anyone!

If a guy cannot handle that then he needs to find someone else