I should be writing. . .
I’ve had a lot of things happen this past two weeks and I should get them out.
Maybe write a short story or two.
Maybe a list of problems and goals . . . Pros and cons.
Yesterday, I got new pens and notebook that are just sitting in the corner just collecting dust.
I just have no motivation, no pep, and I even feel I’m so depressed I’m bumming out my muses. It sucks.
I should just say fuck the world and write.
I have read two books in the last 12 days and wrote 9277 words in the last 5 days.
I just hope I can keep this up. I want to get all of the parts done.
I have changed my genre to thriller/ drama/ and adult romance.
I hope to go back to paranormal, but not at the moment.
1. The Indifferent Busy People
The one group of non-supporters that I don’t mind are those who are just indifferent: The indifferent, busy people. I have them in non-supporters, because they aren’t usually going to lift a finger or encourage you one way or another. (Key word: usually) I have met a few like this, but they are usually very busy. They usually work 60 plus hours a week or they have many hobbies or lots of friends/clients.
- They don’t care what you are doing.
- You have your thing, and they have their thing. Actually they are probably grateful that you are into your own thing so you can leave their thing alone.
- They are busy with their life, and I think they expect you to busy with yours.
- They are probably the people you meet through a friend of a friend of a friend or at some sponsored dinner party.
However, keep in mind, they may be the type to keep in touch with as they will be the type to have the greatest network of connections.
Personally, I admire their work ethic and determination. They are very focus, and it’s very inspiring.
I hate endings. . .
I hate writing them.
I hate reading them.
I hate when the book is done.
I love the fresh, new beginning. The nervousness, the excitement of the unknown. NOT endings, I hate how all endings are just over.
I like staying in the path. . . just keep moving.
I love crossroads where you can stay, go back or keep going.
I enjoy look at tunnel knowing there is still a journey a head. I hate the light at the end. . . it’s over.
Sorry, I just finished reading a book.
You put all of the energy to love or hate the characters and just as everything figures itself out . . . it’s all done.
I’m not saying some endings are bad, some are brilliant. However those who end with leaving me on the edge. This book did that . . . yes I know it’s a trilogy, so on to book two. (I’m done with my rant.)
First these people can be divided into two groups. . . supporter and the non-supporters.
I will get into the non-supporters.
The Indifferent Busy People
“I like Everything.”
Overzealous Readers (Of other authors)
However as I writer, even non supporters, have inspired and motivated me.
I’ve learned a few things about myself and socializing over the years.
- I really don’t think I am that good it (socializing). I always feared of saying the wrong thing growing up.
- Now that I am older, I believe in the truth; this show who my real friends are and who can handle me, and sometimes who I can handle. (if that dress doesn’t work for you, I am not afraid to say so.)
- I speak more when I am drinking, but I do not drink a lot. I have health issues and drinking can really mess those up.
- I am really more anti-social as I get older. A part of it is that I don’t want to put extra energy into a friendship in which I will just used. Another part is I do like my own time for reading and writing.
So I do majority of my socializing online. I am in many writing groups. I am very social in October just before NaNoWriMo.
I have learned there are groups of people once you tell them that I writing a book or stories (and that I dream of being a famous author) . . .
I deal with each differently.
It’s not good or bad. I try not be a b**** or brat. . .
I try to treat everyone civil. (Yeah, I have my mood swings and can get jealous and cranky. It’s usually just my imbalanced hormones.)
This is my series. . . the different people I deal with as a writer.
I had plans for writing everyday and post a bunch of blogs. . . it has not happened because as of Dec 30th circumstances had changed.
I hope to get things back to my goals soon, but for now please be patient with me. (I think I am writing this more for myself than my few, wonderful readers.)
Many of my friends on here have been asking about me. . . I am currently numb. I just helped an ex (who was still a good friend of mine) he had gotten a liver transplant in August and was good until his sudden death a week ago. I am still trying to spin my head around this.
It started with an exploratory surgery and ended 14 days later with my ex (still a good friend) dying of cancer of his new liver, in his stomach, and lymph nodes.
I just don’t understand, I was talking to him, watching him work on physical therapy one day and two days later in tears as they announced time of death.
I had been blocked because I had been busy going back and forth from ICU to my appointments and such . . . I little time to think clearly. Now I have time, I’m just stunned.
I due plan to continue with writing, but I just do NOT know how fast it will be. (He would have wanted me to never stop my writing. I hope that he’ll be my inspiration.)