Confession #5: I hate endings

writing confession again

I hate endings. . .
I hate writing them.
I hate reading them.
I hate when the book is done.

I love the fresh, new beginning. The nervousness, the excitement of the unknown. NOT endings, I hate how all endings are just over.

I like staying in the path. . .  just keep moving.
I love crossroads where you can stay, go back or keep going.
I enjoy look at tunnel knowing there is still a journey a head. I hate the light at the end. . . it’s over.

Sorry, I just finished reading a book. 

You put all of the energy to love or hate the characters and just as everything figures itself out . . . it’s all done.

I’m not saying some endings are bad, some are brilliant. However those who end with leaving me on the edge. This book did that . . . yes I know it’s a trilogy, so on to book two. (I’m done with my rant.)

Writing Goals for 2017

images-2

Writing Goals for 2017

  1. I want to write 1 to 4 hour (averaging at 2.5).
  2. I want to give myself 3 to 10 (20 minutes) word sprints daily (averaging 5)
  3. I want to finish old projects.
  4. I want to work on some new project ideas.
  5. I want to explore new genres.
  6. I want to get some short stories published.
  7. I want to write 200 blogs (over all of my blogs)
  8. I want to write about my depression and anxiety.
  9. I want to enter some contests. (Including Camp NaNoWriMo and NaNoWriMo)
  10. I know I NEED to edit several projects.
  11. I just want to write something everyday.
  12. I want to write more books reviews.
  13. I want to read more. (2 books a month.)

New Project Ideas

  1. Adult works
  2. Blog Prompts
  3. Story Prompts
  4. Writing Tips
  5. Romance
  6. Spirituality
  7. Anxiety and depression ideas
  8. Diabetes project
  9. Character video project

Projects that I need to Finish

  1. Love Need Time (rewrite novel idea)
  2. Hero project (comic idea)
  3. DWAG (online soap opera)
  4. College story
  5. Driving Lies part 3

Projects I need to edit

  1. The Whisper Path
  2. Melzela
  3. Darken Cake
  4. Many short stories
  5. Driving Lies Parts 1 & 2

5 minute Rant And Update

images

Okay. . . short rant. . . I had two days into NaNoWrimo (3558 words written) and my characters goes it sound better in first person. (Which had changed all of my notes in first person into third person so that I could write in 3rd person.) Wednesday night he goes it sound better and personal in first. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So last night I tweaked all of my chapter into first person. I also add some stuff and got 1300 extra words.
Now I am at 6217. . . just about 450 words away from today word count which is good. It is staying in first person. 

My boyfriend has been seriously helping me. . . motivating me. I have been getting at least two to three hours in to write every evening.

I need to clean my room, and work on scene list for tonight. So far it has been nice, but I still see things happening this month, and I need to get somewhat a head.

My Writing Vs Non-Supporters

banned

Writer Vs Non-supporters

 

It is really hard to write when you live with non-supporters!

 

I’ve been told…

  1. “You write too much!”
  2. “Writing is overrated.”
  3. “Books are going obsolete.”
  4. “Stop writing and do something worth your time!”
  5. “Vampires & ghosts have been overdone.”
  6. “Your grammar sucks!”
  7. “Why try?”
  8. “There is no way you will finish a book.” (This one for reading and writing)
  9. “You are wasting your time!”
  10. “Writing is unstable!”
  11. “You cannot make money from writing!”
  12. “If you have no money, then you might as well quit mow. You cannot write a book without money.”

It’s hard to win get started when you feel like you are set up to fail. They made me feel like a failure, and like I will never succeed. How do I know if I can climb the mountain, unless I try to climb it first?
This does not help my depression and anxiety that they know I have. I also get mix emotions when they get me a computer with a pen with it, but complain whom I am on it too much . . .go figure!

There is something I have learned (beside my hatred for cleaning) . . . I’ve learned that I can clean the whole house: make everything freaking sparkle, make a seven course meal, serve the meal to lots of guests (which also makes me anxious) and do errands, clean up after those guests, and pay all of the bills…  BUT if I did NOT write that day, I felt unproductive!

To me writing isn’t just telling a story to someone:

  1. It is expressing myself and giving the readers a little piece of me.
  2. It’s also my therapy as page listens way better than most noisy people.
  3. It is also my escape and my hope.
  4. It is my creation.

To those who do NOT support me writing, then you do NOT know me. I’m a good person, and I have been writing for over 25 years; I do NOT think it is a waste. Then you might as well say that all of my education was a waste too, and I think it was not. If you want to drop me, leave and stop supporting me, fine. I’m sorry for lost, but not the fact that you’ll probably be victims in my next novels . . . * evil laugh with lighting in the background*

victims_aren__t_we_all_by_graverobberfang-d5ajqhp

Inner Writer Vs Inner Editor

befunky-collagewriter13

Inner Writer vs Inner Editor.

 

Every creative person has an inner creator/writer and an inner editor. The challenge many writers have (especially around NaNoWriMo) is shhhing or calming your inner editor.

 

Someone once told me to write down who I was. . .

I’m a daughter, sister, cousin, niece, future aunt, loyal friend. . . etc (I just use positive aspects).
I’m a vivid storyteller, over-writer, abstract artist, bright painter, amateur drawer, creative nit, vampire lover, cat cuddler, caffeine killer, silly girl,  and the list goes on. . . However I don’t think procrastinating editor is until like number 842 down the list.

It just seems every NaNoWriMo have a problem keeping my inner editor quiet while I write. I have two ways that I work it with.

The first way I cope with inner editor are word sprints. . . I get a timer, and I write for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. I usually do it this was. :00 to :20 break :21 to :29 next sprint :30 to :50 and next break :51 to :59. . . I get two twenty minute sprints in each hour on a good day I can get an average 550 to 750 words per sprint.  At that write you only need to two to three hours a day to get to NaNoWriMo’s day word count of 1667.

NaNoWriMo is encouraging to get writing and get the words on the page/screen.
You can edit in a cold month like January or NaNoEdMo (in March) http://www.nanoedmo.com/ they have a website for that as well.
Many I know finish the novel in Dec/Jan and edit in March. Most novel are at least 80,000 or more words, so even if you got to 50,000 with NaNoWriMo you still have to add more if you want it to be considered a novel. Now 25,000 to 60,000 word considered a novella. (That is a whole other blog. . . short stories vs novellas, and novels.) My advice to walk away from a finished first draft for a while. It’s hard to find the errors when it’s too fresh.

 

The second thing I do to fight off my inner editor is that my inner editor and inner writers have schedules.
I noticed that my inner editor likes to work from 7 am to 1 pm right after a good strong cup of coffee and a decent meal.
My inner writer likes two different times at noon to 4/5 pm after lunch with a soda (good caffeine) or between the hours 7 pm and 3 am. I think it depends on what I am writing. I write drama better in the afternoon, but I write my horror and paranormal better at night.
So there are many times, minus minor corrections, my inner editor will leave my inner writer alone. If not then I push the sprints on myself.

There are sites and twitter that can help writing issues and sprints. . . https://twitter.com/NaNoWordSprints?lang=en

http://writeordie.com/ if you stop writing, your word disappear. I don’t like this, because I get interrupted at times.

http://writtenkitten.net/ I like this site and use it often. After every 100 words a new picture of a kitten pops up. I wish I could get a Supernatural version. I love the Winchester boys.

http://www.livewritethrive.com/2014/05/26/8-great-writing-tools-to-keep-you-motivated-to-write/ Another article I found on writing motivation.

You also find a writing buddy on NaNoWriMo forum, to keep each other in check.

 

 

Confession #4

confession

Confession: Your first draft is always crap. . . There are nuggets of gold/diamond in the pieces, but they really need to be cleaned, and re-polished. . .

My first of novel I wrote a paranormal-drama about a girl who could see and talked to ghosts. I wrote it for NaNoWriMo. . . it was simply to see if I could write 50,000 in one month. I think I ended with 52,000 or 53,000 words when I was done. However that was not the end of the book; I finished writing it the next NaNoWriMo. It ended with 160,000 words. . . I have still yet to completely edit it. I have learned I am an over-writer. My first draft will always have too much.

I look back now and go “D@mn what the *BEEP* did I write?” 

  1. I have noticed that parts of it are therapy, just venting against people I know.
  2. There are parts where it seem to go on and on and have nothing to do with the main story-line.
  3. I had a crushes on one of my side characters and put him in way more than he needed to be. Worst part is his is a frickle, artistic jerk, but I loved his look.
  4. I know I need to vent and wine less and show more suspense.
  5. When I rewrite and edit, I plan to cut a lot and focus more on the story of the ghost and less on a whiny girl.

It was my first draft and I finished NaNoWriMo two years in a row because of it so it is an accomplishment. It is just not finished yet.

My advice is focus on getting the words out. 

There are articles on surviving NaNoWriMo. 

http://www.signature-reads.com/2016/10/surviving-nanowrimo-the-tough-mudder-of-writing-challenges/?cdi=3DD2CA8D59970C03E0534FD66B0A212F&ref=PRH774FF6C894

http://nanowrimo.org/forums/helpful-resources-sites

http://campnanowrimo.org/writing-resources

n-WRITING-A-BOOK-628x314
Writer