Camp NaNoWriMo

My results are in….26,178 words in 30 days …. My goal was 30,000 words.

I was sick with cold and sinus issues for the first two weeks. I was exhausted and I barely got up to do my normal chores and errands. (It was not COVID)

I didn’t keep up with my spiritual blog every day. I will post the rest of the blogs when I can.

Then today I was listening to one of my favorite tarot readers on YouTube and I was told I need to write….https://youtu.be/p4X16QrYMbQ

It says I need to write and write my story now. Or I’ll end up passing up on an opportunity. Of course on a very busy month. May is going to be very busy..

I hope to find some inspiration.

My Bliss and Camp NaNoWriMo

There is something about sitting at my computer and just typing.

Sometimes I have my music on and just let my reality slip away.

The moments in which I focus on my characters and stories. It’s great!

It’s my bliss. . . I miss it.

I miss how I can just escape and yet create.
I am just so distracted and fighting pain whether it’s physical or mental. . .
I keep giving myself stupid excuses not to write.

I need to really write soon. I am trying my best to do Camp NaNoWriMo in July.

I have carpal tunnel and its very common with writers. I am supposed to get surgery, probably by end of the year or beginning of next. I’m just very worried and scared that my hand will be worst or not work as well once they do the surgery on it. However I drop pens, I dropped the pan the other day, and my fingers are throbbing, achy or just tingly numb.. I just want to write without dropping pens.

I want to be able to write and work on NaNoWriMo without so much pain.

I am not giving myself a huge goal this July on Camp NaNoWriMo. . . Just 20,000 anything over that is bonus.

I have four doctor appointments. . . my hands, ankles, and eyes are my biggest issues.

My NaNoWriMo profile https://nanowrimo.org/participants/rebekah1213

The White Screen

I get ideas, but I stare at the white screen. . . completely mocking me . . .

1. You aren’t an author, you aren’t even a writer. (I technically have a book on Amazon and some on Smashwords, but I need reedit and I plan to edit three major project next month and write in April.)
2. You are a time waster. (I am researching, emotionally healing, and working on other things. I am also taking things one day at a time.)
3. You are not creative enough. ( I more creative of then this “generation” pushing all of the remakes, I at least I try to make my own characters and story lines.)
4. Get off your ass and get a “real” job. (I cannot handle people day in and out, I am way too bluntly honest for majority of this world, and with my heavy sleeping and sleep apnea, even with my CPAP I still cannot hear my alarm clock.)
5. Make money, happiness is under rated. (Money only causes more problems. I just want enough to feel secure. Then I want to write; it my bliss. When I write with my guy and my gal, it’s Heaven on Earth)
6. You are not pretty, thin, or talented enough to enjoy happiness. (Happiness does not matter whether you are thin, or beautiful or talented. . . Happiness is a choice to feel positive and hope and enjoy what you are doing. By the way, My weight or looks has nothing to do with my love of writing and creating things.)
7. All of your ideas are taken. . . (All basic concepts are written or told, but the truth is you can always spin them. Break cliches or use them in a different way. Never let it stop you from getting your story told.)
8. Your twists are not exciting enough. (I will tweak them in the edits.)
9. Everyone is bored with you (with all of the drama in my damned head, I think not. . . I am crazy enough to be arguing with the computer screen.)
10. You are a has-been and wanna-be.(I haven’t even started yet, how can I be either one of those things?)

I have so many stories to write about. I just need to get inspired and started and then simply white screen shut up and let me write.

Camp NaNoWriMo April 2020

It’s so far so good. I am just under 22k, and today is 22nd, which is good as my personal goal is 1k per day. So I am almost there.

I hope I get to 50, 000 words, but it’s been tricky as I am have anxiety over this lock-in and the virus. I really should write about it. I feel like with everyone always home, I really have no privacy, no moments to myself.

Going out (which I do at most once a week, if I can wait, then two weeks.) Going out is very bizzard, I am waiting for zombies to show. The facial masks and gloves make me instantly feel sick as I have zero symptoms. I used to love shopping, even if it was just grocery shopping, but now it’s a sad chore. I feel like everyone is paranoid. The truth is only 1% of the population even has the virus. I think the media pushes the stats daily making the crowds more crazed. I am NOT saying take this lightly, but do not freak out someone so bad that they stop enjoying life. (I am sorry for those who are sick and/or died, but I really believe it will get better by summer.)

I will admit I am avoiding doctors and hospitals. (However I still need food and toilet paper.)

My gout acts up whenever I walk too much. I am then down for several days after as I have to keep my feet up. I cannot use my computer in bed as it overheats so easily.

My anemia was high making me easily exhausted but coffee really helped. I was still able to make dinner and help someone with writing, and yet working on my own.

Today I did get some things clean, including myself. However my true hair color is in my roots.

Tomorrow I need to go through my notebooks and get stuff on the computer so I have less loose papers.

I also enjoy watching others write on google docs. . . it’s cool to watch how it appears; it’s like watching a writer’s head at work.

Best advice during this time: find hobbies together and hobbies apart. Give yourself some special time.

Meanwhile I am working on Camp NaNoWriMo. . . several projects.

Writer Block Excuses

Writer’s block Excuses . . . (And Arguments)

1. I can’t think. (Why can’t you think? Write about it? For 60 seconds write whatever pops in your head. . . triggers? Pain? Hope? Happiness? Suffering? Anger? Just write it all.)

2. I overthink. (Stop over overanalyzing . . . the word analyze had as ass it, so pull your head out of it and simply write. Or write about overthink, but stop thinking and just write!)

3. All of my thoughts are tangled. (Work (Write) on a piece at time, and then another piece. . . over time you will have it figured out, no book got truly written overnight.)

4. I’m too depressed. (Get out of bed and write about it. . . write about what would make you less depressed.)

5. I just can’t write. (Not right. . . . Why? Do you have no fingers? Are you too busy? Whatever you think it is. . . write about it, damn it!)

6. I am not good enough. (Write and prove yourself wrong. . . fight your inner demons.)

7. I’m completely distracted. (Use your distraction in one of your stories. . . your characters probably get distracted too.)

8. I’m lazy. (Thank for being honest, but get off your lazy butt and write something.)

9. I have no light. (Use your phone or tablet . . . write)

10. I have headaches. (Write in brief sprints. . . they add up.)

11. I have computer issues. (write on Pen and Paper)

12. My muses are arguing. (Write out the argument)

13. I have mixed up my priories. (Write out what they are and the order)

14. I’m restless. (Go for a walk, clean, and come back and write about it or write in a new spot)

15. I need to read more. (Make time like 30 minutes each day to read, and at least 30 minutes to write)

16. I’m only going to get rejected. (You will NOT know unless you try. NOW WRITE!)

17. I’m not interested in that project. (Then work on something new. Just Write!)

18. Others tell me “I write too much.” (Fuck them, if writing makes you happy, then write.)

19. I’m sick or sore. (Rest it off and then write.)

20. I’m tired. (Rest, but write in sprints. . . each bit counts. I got around 700,000 in 2019)

If anyone noticed that in every reply to my many excuses. . . I said write in one way or another. . . I just wish I would take my own advice. (I did manage to get about 1200 words written in my blogs.)

Endings, again.

I’m trying to type up the last chapter on the last novella of my thriller trilogy “Driving Lies,” and I feel like my feet are stuck in the mud.

I wrote about this once before. Actually it was funny, because it was when I was actually handwriting the ending to this exact project.

https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2018/02/16/endings-3/

The thing is once I know this is done, then I have to edit this project. I’m horrible with editing. I’m a writer, not an editor. I realize that editors are so expensive.

I need a good edit before I show an agent or a publishing company.

I think I’m so afraid of rejection from these companies that I am purposefully holding myself back.

Question to my nervous self: What if they really like my work?

I love writing; in fact, I believe it’s what I live for.

However I fight with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and now I am learning PCOS (it’s a female things, I am 90% of all of the symptoms.)

I get easily frustrated when I can’t get all of the things I want to done, because my depression, or anxiety instantly drained me. I would love to use my writing to release my negativity, but there are days were I can barely get out of bed or pick up a pen. (I’m currently in a living situation where my computer and sleep Cpap machine are taking up the same space. I have to take one down to put the other one up.)

Last week, I finished chapter 8 after I had to rewrite it (because I had a corrupted file.)  My depression and anxiety just did not let me enjoy my accomplishment. I just wish I can get rid of the negative feelings.

I give myself goal and they usually get blown out of proportion because something happens: doctor appointment goes wrong, my female issues come up (and drain me so bad I do not get out bed for days) or extra errands. I have learned that at times if I do too much that day, my writing (goals) suffer.

I wish I could focus primarily on my writing, but I cannot until I take care of my health and get a better place.

 

This does NOT mean I will stop writing, but I just realized that things will probably slow down, because even today, I had a horrible migraine in my eyes and the humidity just made it worst. I just wanted to write and I know my family is going to want the lights off. Grrr.

I just hope to post more blogs, short stories, and the last two chapters of third installment on  my thriller trilogy set.

I even made a new instagram account Rebekah Quinne Instagram

NaNoWriMo Break

I’m taking the day off as I wrote over 3500 word yesterday after I helped with laundry, went shopping, and cooked fried fish for dinner.  I am at 25,149 words out of my goal of 35,000 with 9 more days to write. I really think I can make this goal. . . my bigger goal to myself is to get the book completed. 

I’m excited as even my family wants to read my book.

Anyway, I play two word games to keep my brain fresh. . .

Wordscapes.  Which is fun if I can get the bigger words first. . . . I usually only have one or two on a set that just fluster me.

Word With Friends (2) . . . I love a good game of boogle or scramble. However I keep getting way older guys trying to see scams or wives. I am just trying to workout my brain. I am not trying to get hit on by random guys. (Worst part I rarely find any guys my own age.)

So today we (my friend, brother and I) made three hams, sweet potatoes, baked beans, mashed potatoes, and bean soup. All we have to do is make plates for Easter dinner tomorrow, awesome. I will also post ham ideas on my food blog. . . https://cookingimprov.home.blog/

So tonight, I am relaxing with my word games and maybe a movie.

Camp NaNoWriMo Warm Days Ahead. . .

So far I am two days ahead in my writing. I’m 14,100 out of 35,000 (that is my word count goal)

I am currently working on my thriller and it is coming out so easy that today when it got cold, so cold my joints hurt. I took a break. I watched a movie called “Passengers” with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. . . It was really good. It showed me that you can write your story anywhere. (You also need to make the best of the location that you’re in.)

 

Romantic Distraction

Camp NaNoWriMo started April 1st and so far I got 2511 words. . . 

I do not normally post my personal life on this blog, but I am flustered and grateful. 

For Camp NaNo, I am finished a story, I started for NaNoWriMo in 2011. (When I was still with my ex, Tom.) There are some spicy scene between a few of my characters. . . you have to have a dramatic love element in a good thriller.

I will admit I have been lonely lately, as I have not really dated in over a year.

Against my personal blog (http://beckyms1213.wordpress.com) I got back on a few personal sites. (Even if it is just to find some friends, but I am started to believe people are about business or they are fake online.  The real people are actually out living life.)

As much as I love love struggling with the Internet. . . I am just beginning to believe it’s full of distractions and scammers.

I got a personal site and this what I thought was really cute guy messaged me. Of course within ten lines asked for outside chat (like Kik, hang out, or skype.)

Anyway, his answers were long and too poetic. . . they did not feel real so I took a tip from one of my favorite shows “Catfish” and I googled his replies and the first thing can up was a scam site.

So  if you get an answer or text like this. . . (it’s a scammer).

“My ambition is to inspire your beloved woman constantly and stand by my nations I want the peace for the world, to help her to keep the balance between career and private life, just as she would also inspire me to do good. Love is most paramount for me, i need a companion to share my life with, who wants to create a strong family. I want to take long walks with her and share what life has in stall for us both joy and sorrow. I’d like to look up to her as an authority for me, be proud of her, adore her, be supportive, she would have my devotion understanding,kindness, care, calmness, cheerfulness,soul support and my great love. I expect to get all these traits from her too in return, Everyone wants something good for themselves, or don’t you wish yourself well? ”

This was a direct quote I found from a scamming website.
https://www.scamwarners.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=58426

It sucked because his pics were cute. Oh well, I’m grateful now I can go back my regularly schedule program of working on my Camp NaNoWriMo projects.