First of all is 4:35 am, and I need to get to bed.
However my biggest distraction behind my health issues . . . is the sims. I love the game because it help for story, character ideas . . . but it let’s me control what the characters do and I feel as if I am god.
I feel I need control outside of life because my life is chose.
I grew up witnessing and being in violence and fighting are triggers for my depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I want people happy, not hurt or fighting. Sims helps me with it, but it distracts me from my writing and what I need to do.
I need to limit sims time so I can have my virtual video game cake and eat or play it too.
I posted this in November Balancing Romance and Writing . . .
Summary: I had a guy who I wanted to be my boyfriend for about six weeks, but we are in two different places in our lives. However we agreed to be just friends, and I am glad to have him in my life ( minus the his complaining.)
Most people ( minus my supporting mom and brother) say I write too much, but my friend said it was okay for me to write.
I tried to write while he worked, so when he was home, I could spend time with him. I was trying to give my undivided attention to him as I learned in the past that I annoyed others being stuck in my own world.
The thing is that the longer I stay away from my writing, the less of myself, I feel. . .
I know who I am. . .
- I am a writer and storyteller!
- I am brutually honest and yet vividly creative.
- I can not leave the house for days at a time with my head in a tablet or computer screen.
- I love lists and have scheduled my life around my writing.
- I’m a creative mess, but I am a damn good, semi-organized researcher.
- I need someone who encourages me.
I do not need . . .
- Someone who wants kids. ( I prefer my four pawed babies, cats.)
- Someone complaining that we had another slow-cooker dinner, (please be grateful I am a damn creative and good cook.)
- Someone who doesn’t want to be immortalized in my written work, (because a high chance he will inspire a character or two or ten.)
- Someone who says I write too much.
- Someone who says I am too messy.
- Someone who says I am too moody ( when it comes to writing, I’m not cranky, I’m passionate.)
I’m not a family originated female. I’m fine with that. I’m fun, positive, talkative, and perky. I’m auntie Becky and I’m fine with that.
I just need someone who understands. . . I’m a writer. I will not change myself for anyone!
If a guy cannot handle that then he needs to find someone else.
My health issues. . .
- My sleep patterns are off.
- My depression can kill my motivation.
- My anxiety can make focus scattered.
- My brain never stops.
- I’m always trying to make myself or someone else happy.
- There times I get stomachs issues or cramps that steal my attention.
- I get migraines that are very harsh on my eyes.
I need to see a few doctors and get this figured out. Hopefully.
My average times I write . . .
- Between 1pm and 5pm
- Between 8pm and 2am
I focus best in the afternoon after a coffee and lunch or after dinner if nothing is on that night.
Bad to times to write . . .
Between 6am to noon
Between 5pm to 8pm
I am not a morning person. If I can get up early, and I feel a woke. I’ve learned I edit better in the mornings, it’s very, very, very rare. Did I mention I am not a morning person? Diabetes also makes me very foggy just before dinner.
It’s been hard to write everyday. This has been making me cranky when I cannot write. Between my depression, sleep, and other health issues, it’s been a challenge to write daily.
I’ve been having bad sleeping problems. (I mentioned these issues in my personal blog http://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com). I’m working on seeing my doctor to fix this.
I have a naughty muse (Starred is my erotic muse,) and lately she has wanted to come out in my paranormal and horror writing.
So if I feel the scene is going naughty I will write the scene twice. I write erotica faster than my therapy writing lately. So I have both scenes. It helps for word counts in nanowrimo and keeps me busy.
I found a section in one of my naughty scenes. . . (The scene is between Lucy and Lyric fooling around when they are both taken.) I know this line sounds generic and clique but it sounded good to me.
“She needed him–she knew he needed her. She wanted him and didn’t want to give him back. She secretly and denabliy believed that if she gave him everything he wanted, that he would feel the same way for her. ”
Rebekah Quinne’s (c) copyrights 2017
I felt like my paranormal writing is slowly turning into a clique romance writing. What kills me is that the guy is not the same in reality that is in her head. (But the be honest, is it ever?) She wants love, but he knows she will do anything (including naughty stuff) to keep the idea of him. He uses this to his intimate and sexual advantage.
I should add a ghost to the scene, but then I start to wonder if I add too much paranormal does it build or cut storyline?
I probably should add something to make more showing and less telling.
My brain never stops and my muses are always evolving.
I’m behind my word count by 10k. I plan to write this weekend.
I know I can do it. I have been farther behind. I just need encouragement and get my focus in gear . . . Let’s not forget the coffee.
If I was in a cafe with my current characters this what they and I would order. . .
Me (author Rebekah): iced mocha or hot orange green tea
My muses order is on this blog my muses coffee order
Lucy: hot mocha with orange juice
Valin: coffee with caramel creamers and orange juice
Lyric: coffee black, water
Paige: coffee with cream and two sugars
Vincent: just orange juice (adds a shot of vodka)
Verona: latte with steamed cream and caramel with bubbly water
Autumn: iced caramel latte or green tea