It’s always happen this way . . . it’s 4am in the morning and my brain and my muses will NOT wine down.
It can be any other day when I am not doing anything and they do not want to work either.
However when I have to get up and go to do errands.
My brain just keep going and going. . . . So many thoughts.
- Will I ever finish my book if my computer keeps corrupting my files? (Grrr)
- Why does overheating cause my files to corrupt? (I just do not know why those would even be related. I’m so flustered that I put over a week of work only for it to go to a black screen just at the last line. . . just before I hit save. GRRRR. (I lose a week worth of word count just about 8,000 words, my computer over heated and entire chapter got corrupted. . . GRRRRR)
- Am I really talented or am I wasting time? (I am torn with this, but then again hours of writing with coffee, soda or tea in my travel mug. . . is my currently bliss. I just would love to be famous or at least Very well known for my written work. I want to be the author if Stephen King and Anne Rice had a kid together. . . I know it sounds weird, but I love both author’s works. I already have three people within the week that are interested in my driving thriller. )
- Do NaNoWriMo or Camp NaNoWriMo really help? (I mean I push myself for that month to get words in my books, but are they that good? Do I really need to push my novel in so many weeks like Stephen King does? I mean he already has several publisher. . . Why am I even asking myself those questions? It’s my damn anxiety and depression monsters trying to think they are logical, but they are just trying to keep me down so that they get more powerful. Grrrr)
- Why do I keep getting hit on by guys 50 or older? (I feel like I am the good kid that parents all liked a bit too much.) (It would be really weird the guys 20 years older than me look at me like a healthy sexual being.) Age is a thing to me. . . I would like someone closer to my age. There is a difference between 10 years, defiantly between 20 years. (I mean back when my uncle went to school they had a smoking lounge. Matters, slang, how people look at things all change with time. I have not found anyone 10 years and older that truly understand me.)
- Why can’t I play Words with Friends (WWF) without getting guys 50 plus who have kids and instantly think I want to fill the void of their dead wife? (I do not want to be a replacement “mommy” while my own body will not allow me to make my own, and the guy my father’s age is having a secret affair with his secretary. I just want to play a game of scramble and beat my highest score of 437. I use words with friends and word scape to keep my brain fresh for my writing and reading skills.)
- Will I get ever get professionally published? (This does not be self-published to be lost in the amazon.com sea of so-so books. I mean to find a real publisher, agent, and editor on my team to help me sell and promote my book while they have me go from book store to book store signing books while everyone want to know what will happen next in my vampire and ghost series. I need a real publisher and editor. . . I am so overwhelmed. )
- Will I get a better place and have bigger desk, nicer pc, and cat? (I also want a kitchen, bath tub, and my own recliner. When will this happen?)
It’s almost 5 am. . . I think I need to sleep now. . . hopefully dreaming of publishing and getting a nicer place.
2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.
Things I accomplished in 2016.
- I wrote over 50 blogs in this page. (140 blogs throughout all of my pages).Links to my other blogs
- I have at least 15 followers. ( I hope I have entertained and help some follow writers. I also to get more this year.)
- I written over 225,000 words ( I know not quite the goal of 500,000, but not bad with all I have gone through.)
- I started Book 2 in my vampire series. (However due to some emotional issues; it is on the back burner for a while.)
- I have written two diaries this year.
Things I have learned in 2016
- I have figured out some of my muses. https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/10/19/introduction-my-muses/
- I realized that winning NaNoWriMo doesn’t stop the world. It isn’t everything. (Bit does feel good when I win. I’m sad because they don’t work with http://www.createspace.com anymore.)
- I write really well in chaos, especially while visiting in the hospital. (I’m even there now.)
- I write way more than I edit.
- I am more of an adder than a cutter when it comes to words.
- I can not write well around who don’t support it.
- I was suggested to put my paranormal/horror/occult genres aside for a while. . . (until I figure the source of my depression and anxiety.)
- I will still write even though many people think I write too much.
- I give myself much more ambitious goals than I can achieve. (for example: write 500,000 words.) I plan to push it down to 300,000 words in 2017.
- It has been a very emotional year for my muses and I.
- I was easily distracted this year.
- I rather edit than clean.
- I need to realize that writing is for me. It is a good expression of therapy for me.
- I had a therapy book and/or release book before I started therapy.
- The people I looked up to were the ones who seem to criticize when I wrote a lot.
Okay. . . short rant. . . I had two days into NaNoWrimo (3558 words written) and my characters goes it sound better in first person. (Which had changed all of my notes in first person into third person so that I could write in 3rd person.) Wednesday night he goes it sound better and personal in first. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So last night I tweaked all of my chapter into first person. I also add some stuff and got 1300 extra words.
Now I am at 6217. . . just about 450 words away from today word count which is good. It is staying in first person.
My boyfriend has been seriously helping me. . . motivating me. I have been getting at least two to three hours in to write every evening.
I need to clean my room, and work on scene list for tonight. So far it has been nice, but I still see things happening this month, and I need to get somewhat a head.
Pieces of Me
I always try to put pieces of myself into my characters. It may be the same eye color, same height, or same attitude quality. I feel like my characters an my own kids. I help create and develop them, and eventually they take over on the story. Sighs!
If they are not take directly from me them they are based an someone I know or someone who inspires me.
Sometimes the characters have qualities like me, sometimes they are opposite. Either way I may not always agree with my characters, but in the core of each of them, is some kind of piece of me!
On a side note: To be my muse (my inspiration) is a huge compliment . . . I am very picky! If you are offended. . . I’m sorry you were beautiful and talented, but too greedy and stupid to say “Thanks!” For example: (http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ellen-page-says-naughty-dog-ripped-off-her-likeness/1100-6410610/
Just saying the “Last of Us” video game has won some award, the graphics were awesome, and the story was great. They should have someone else who was less bitter about receive flattery. The video-game that she was working on pissed her off either way.)
October Prep for NaNoWriMo
- Organized Notes
- Rewrite outlines
- List scenes
- Organized outlines
- Organized computer
- Work on Storyline arc
- Set up scenes
- Look up previous Work (book 1)
- Work on Characters
- Check on vampire notebooks
- NaNoWriMo check lists
- Get Sleep
- Write blogs
- Stock up on Caffeine
- Stock up on candy
- Get psyched for writing
- Get Inspired
Why I am dancing with Dean Winchester (AKA Jensen Ackles)?
Because it’s NANOWRIMO TIME. YAY!!!! (And he’s good looking.)
The time of year where I get ready to write, write, and write some more. I am truly at my element when I am writing.
I will be working on Book 2 of my vampire series Crimson Shadows.
I am getting all of my outlines and notes together just after I post this.
To be writing buddies. . . this is my profile. http://nanowrimo.org/participants/rebekah1213
I had created over 75 vampires for originally what would have been a trilogy with a book of short stories. . . that now has turned into an eight book series. I have book one finished in a sense, (I want to tweak it once more, I know an artist piece is never complete).
However when I was with my ex the main character of book two did not want to speak. . . now that we have broken up, my muses say this character will not shut up. This is good. . . I hope to finish Book two for NaNoWriMo this year.
So I have been writing when I can, but my main male character is like on ADD. . . he is like half way through the story and then stops and gets side tracked and tells another story. So I have pieces here and there of Book Two.
I hope to reread them and piece things together. . .
I have learned every story is different including the writing process. . .
As anyone else had the same issues where people have to leave your life (walk away) in order for your characters to talk?