Inside my head

I like my head it is usually organized and set for my muses.

However with my depression and anxiety and ptsd, it gets very chaotic and messy. 

Its hard to find my ideas organized anything.

 I’m wondering how my muses are working. 

Maybe they escaped to secret haven in my head. . .

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Introduction: My Muses. . .

Most people would be put in a mental hospital for having many different pieces of personality. I don’t have different personalities –I am a writer & storyteller: I have muses!

I have given them names and roles

Emma is all drama!!
Chlorine is chaotic craziness.
Emma and chorine are sisters. They love to argue about what conflict the characters are in and what direction my characters should go.

Jack is my male voice also known as Jack of all trades. Me has a loud & big ego or is always studying. If he doesn’t know how to do something; he will study until he is a master at it. He has a big ego and if his ego is bruised, it’s hard to get him to work.

Luna is my sci-fi & horror buff.
Kelly is the scream queen of horror (she is either valley or horror depends on her mood: She likes shopping or blood.)
Mary is Kelly’s younger sister. (She like things bloody. She is fearless.) (There is a reason why I write better at night. . . Kell’s dark side, Luna, and Mary all like to work at night. People at night act different than during the day. That is a blog onto it’s self. )
They work on paranormal and horror aspects of the stories. They like to work on how my characters die, get tortured, and kill. They will work with Jack on fights scenes.

Sandy is my girly girl (sometimes she is not always with it as her head is in the clouds) she is all romance. She would add the softness/gentleness and the romance in my stories. She get excited when a character has a crush on someone.

Starre is has open hippie and easy tramp. She works on the openness in characters and enjoys telling and inspiring the erotic stories. (She has a hard time dealing with stubborn characters.)

 

I’ve been so down (depressed) lately that even my muses are in therapy.  (I just keep having the word “You write too much.” Echo and haunt my head. I just feel I am not in an environment that promotes/encourages my writing. I have had writer’s block since.)

My characters are all stuck because my muses are really confused and depressed. . .

 

Emma is sitting in a chair as if she is at a therapist office talking to air about how her sister Chlorine likes to watch others bounce in a rubber room while wearing sparkling strait jackets. She is also gossiping about made rumors of characters I haven’t even created yet.
Chlorine is binge watching drama TV shows on Netflix, and believing all of the characters are real.

 

Jack has been distracted with books and learning. He constantly has his nose in a book, and is always trying to learn something new. He reads all of the time; in the bathroom, taking a bath, cooking; he has even burnt a meal or two. (Ironically it was a book on how not to burn food.)

Kelly thinks she is at a bar in the middle of the mall in which all of the stores are closed.

Luna is analyzing the sky and hoping to write fanfiction . . . none of her stories are finished.

Mary has been pretending to dig up random graves in a cemetery with Sam and Dean Winchester (supernatural) and Scooby doo gang.

Starre has been pretending to work the corner, but there are no cars.

 

I’ve been trying to get them to work together on my next book, but nothing has struck their interest. I hope by November they are able to work on NaNoWriMo with me.

Losing Distractions

Yay! I am down two distractions, and I am limited my third biggest issues. . .

April 21st Experience project ended. . . which was a huge distraction for me. I have noticed that I have written and focus so much since it’s gone. I do miss the chatting.

I love to chat online. In real life I am a very shy person, but online I am very social. I can be a chatter bug. I have several friends online, and we usually just past quick notes back and forth.
Anyway, I was chatting with this guy for 13 weeks, everyday. I really liked this guy. I was excited to chat with him and I would get impatient until he got on. He occupied most of my thoughts. (I will leave his name out for his own privacy.) All of my story ideas were of us (him and me). . . my muses were getting flustered, my character were getting bored.
Then we fight, he confesses to lying about a bunch of stuff. . . and my story ideas, my hopes with him, and my trust were all shattered like a baseball through a window.
I tried to make things work with him, as he acted like nothing happened, but I just could not get it out of my mind. (I will NOT be into a liar.)
So now my night are more open for my writing. I am very excited. . . I have totes full of notebooks that need to be on my computer. It the past two days I have read 23 pages, and written over 1600 words.

The main distraction is the Internet (blogs, twitter, e-mail, and facebook). I think I am going to limit my Internet time to no more than 90 minutes a day. I know this is going to be a challenge. I guess I need to be like Barney (from How I Met Your Mother) Suit Up and say “Challenge Accepted!”

Camp NaNoWriMo and Colds. . .

Okay since Sunday, I’ve had a bad head cold. . . and since last Thursday inner ear issues. . . It has been getting better. I have learned a few things. . . (LOL)

  1. It’s okay to write in between naps.
  2. Coffee is a fluid. . . keep lots of fluids.
  3. And people leave you alone when you are hacking up a lung (They just don’t want to get sick, I wonder why?)

On a serious note, I have been working on my writings when I can. I am not sure if I am writing every day for at least 75 minutes, but I am caught up on my word count so far. Yay!
However my cabin buddies aren’t every talkative. It’s okay more time to write.