A Personal Note

I am going to a Therapist. . . I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

I usually write in misery; it helps with conflict. However there are times where my depression is so bad I have to fight with it to just get out bed. . . so getting discipline and motivation to write are sometimes near impossible to me.

I feel currently I am in a Sonic The Hedgehog game, “the casino level” where I am stuck in a valley of the bouncy wedges. You try to get out, but you bounce right back in the damn valley.
I feel like that now. . . I help out, something goes good, I help some more, something gets screwed up and I am back in the damn valley. Grrrrr.
It’s hard to write when I feel personally stuck.

 

sonic-the-hedgehog-2-casino-night-zone-boss-robotnik

A lot has gone on within the last six months. I will post more about that on my personal site. http://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com

However I am here because I am struggling, but I count each word, each sentence, and each page full of words a victory.
I really wish I could just write without this damn gray cloud over my head.
I just really feel discouraged. I want to feel productive, but I just feel like an empty drone in everyone’s way. I feel like my pen’s ink will dry up while I untangle my thoughts.
I hope my characters are not suffering like I am.

I appreciate the inspiration and motivation where I can get it.

th

 

 

Going on in March

I am very happy that many people are liking my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Rebekahquinne
and liking this blog. . .

I hope to post a few pieces this weekend.

What is going on. . .

  • I have been helping friends with babysitting and remodeling their house when I am not writing.
  • I’m also very addicted to coffee.
  • However now I am working not one but two projects. They are quite the opposite in style. I would call one an erotic thriller, and the other a bloody epic tale.
  • I also am trying to discipline myself to make sure I write something everyday and get to post on this blog at least once a week.
  • I’m also trying to read and research more.
  • I have been and I still am working on recovering from some personal issues. It’s been a rough six months. I hope to write a story or two from it.

I’m giving myself daily goals. . .

  1. Excerise daily (whether it’s you tube or just a walk)
  2. Write something everyday
  3. Read something everyday
  4. Eat better

 

What Happened in 2016

2016 was a very challenging year. I felt really stuck and trapped this year, so I really didn’t feel I accomplished that much. I mean I didn’t even finish a book: writing or reading. However I have learned a lot about myself.

Things I accomplished in 2016.

  1. I wrote over 50 blogs in this page. (140 blogs throughout all of my pages).Links to my other blogs
  2. I have at least 15 followers. ( I hope I have entertained and help some follow writers. I also to get more this year.)
  3. I written over 225,000 words ( I know not quite the goal of 500,000, but not bad with all I have gone through.)
  4. I started Book 2 in my vampire series. (However due to some emotional issues; it is on the back burner for a while.)
  5. I have written two diaries this year.

Things I have learned in 2016

  1. I have figured out some of my muses. https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/10/19/introduction-my-muses/
  2. I realized that winning NaNoWriMo doesn’t stop the world. It isn’t everything. (Bit does feel good when I win. I’m sad because they don’t work with http://www.createspace.com anymore.)
  3. I write really well in chaos, especially while visiting in the hospital. (I’m even there now.)
  4. I write way more than I edit.
  5. I am more of an adder than a cutter when it comes to words.
  6. I can not write well around who don’t support it.
  7. I was suggested to put my paranormal/horror/occult genres aside for a while. . . (until I figure the source of my depression and anxiety.)
  8. I will still write even though many people think I write too much.
  9. I give myself much more ambitious goals than I can achieve. (for example: write 500,000 words.) I plan to push it down to 300,000 words in 2017.
  10. It has been a very emotional year for my muses and I.
  11. I was easily distracted this year.
  12. I rather edit than clean.
  13. I need to realize that writing is for me. It is a good expression of therapy for me.
  14. I had a therapy book and/or release book before I started therapy.
  15. The people I looked up to were the ones who seem to criticize when I wrote a lot.

Writing Goals Vs Reality

My Writing Goals Vs Reality

I just posted that I want 60,000 to 70,000 words by November 30th. https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2016/10/27/nanowrimo-2016-goals/
When in reality, I am barely averaging 500 words per day.

500 times 30 equals 15,000 words (only about 30%)

My problems is I have many more challenges this year. . .

  1. My daily to-do list (Cleaning, and dealing with the cats, but it takes a good portion of the day)*
  2. Errands: Pay bills, shopping, getting things together etc
  3. Getting Interrupted “Becky, do this. . .” “Becky did you do that?” “Becky stand on your head.”etc
  4. Birthdays
  5. Time with my boyfriend
  6. Time with my friends
  7. And a new family member.

 

*Average to-do list. . .

  1. (Get Up)
  2. Feed Dog
  3. Let Dog out
  4. Give Callie (Cat) her heart med
  5. Give Callie her ear med
  6. Give Callie her pain med
  7. Give Elmo (Cat) his special treat for upper respiratory issues.
  8. Feed Outdoor cats
  9. Sweep bathroom
  10. Cat Litter room 1
  11. Cat litter room 2
  12. Take blood sugar
  13. Let Dog out again
  14. Eat
  15. Errands: (can be up to 4 hours we’re gone)
  16. If home, do laundry or clean room or basement
  17. Help with dinner: cook
  18. Eat
  19. Clean kitchen
  20. Feed indoor cats
  21. (I also can add clean bathroom, pet water, food bowls, replace litter etc at least twice each week)

Then if I have everything thing done

  1. Write
  2. Internet
  3. Sleep

 

I just hope I get energy to get everything done.

Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me

I always try to put pieces of myself into my characters. It may be the same eye color, same height, or same attitude quality. I feel like my characters an my own kids. I help create and develop them, and eventually they take over on the story. Sighs!

If they are not take directly from me them they are based an someone I know or someone who inspires me.
Sometimes the characters have qualities like me, sometimes they are opposite. Either way I may not always agree with my characters, but in the core of each of them, is some kind of piece of me!
On a side note: To be my muse (my inspiration) is a huge compliment . . . I am very picky! If you are offended. . .  I’m sorry you were beautiful and talented, but too greedy and stupid to say “Thanks!” For example: (http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ellen-page-says-naughty-dog-ripped-off-her-likeness/1100-6410610/
http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-06-24-actress-ellen-page-accuses-naughty-dog-of-ripping-off-her-likeness-for-the-last-of-us
Just saying the “Last of Us” video game has won some award, the graphics were awesome, and the story was great. They should have someone else who was less bitter about receive flattery. The video-game that she was working on pissed her off either way.)

 

Inner Writer Vs Inner Editor

Inner Writer vs Inner Editor.

 

Every creative person has an inner creator/writer and an inner editor. The challenge many writers have (especially around NaNoWriMo) is shhhing or calming your inner editor.

 

Someone once told me to write down who I was. . .

I’m a daughter, sister, cousin, niece, future aunt, loyal friend. . . etc (I just use positive aspects).
I’m a vivid storyteller, over-writer, abstract artist, bright painter, amateur drawer, creative nit, vampire lover, cat cuddler, caffeine killer, silly girl,  and the list goes on. . . However I don’t think procrastinating editor is until like number 842 down the list.

It just seems every NaNoWriMo have a problem keeping my inner editor quiet while I write. I have two ways that I work it with.

The first way I cope with inner editor are word sprints. . . I get a timer, and I write for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. I usually do it this was. :00 to :20 break :21 to :29 next sprint :30 to :50 and next break :51 to :59. . . I get two twenty minute sprints in each hour on a good day I can get an average 550 to 750 words per sprint.  At that write you only need to two to three hours a day to get to NaNoWriMo’s day word count of 1667.

NaNoWriMo is encouraging to get writing and get the words on the page/screen.
You can edit in a cold month like January or NaNoEdMo (in March) http://www.nanoedmo.com/ they have a website for that as well.
Many I know finish the novel in Dec/Jan and edit in March. Most novel are at least 80,000 or more words, so even if you got to 50,000 with NaNoWriMo you still have to add more if you want it to be considered a novel. Now 25,000 to 60,000 word considered a novella. (That is a whole other blog. . . short stories vs novellas, and novels.) My advice to walk away from a finished first draft for a while. It’s hard to find the errors when it’s too fresh.

 

The second thing I do to fight off my inner editor is that my inner editor and inner writers have schedules.
I noticed that my inner editor likes to work from 7 am to 1 pm right after a good strong cup of coffee and a decent meal.
My inner writer likes two different times at noon to 4/5 pm after lunch with a soda (good caffeine) or between the hours 7 pm and 3 am. I think it depends on what I am writing. I write drama better in the afternoon, but I write my horror and paranormal better at night.
So there are many times, minus minor corrections, my inner editor will leave my inner writer alone. If not then I push the sprints on myself.

There are sites and twitter that can help writing issues and sprints. . . https://twitter.com/NaNoWordSprints?lang=en

http://writeordie.com/ if you stop writing, your word disappear. I don’t like this, because I get interrupted at times.

http://writtenkitten.net/ I like this site and use it often. After every 100 words a new picture of a kitten pops up. I wish I could get a Supernatural version. I love the Winchester boys.

http://www.livewritethrive.com/2014/05/26/8-great-writing-tools-to-keep-you-motivated-to-write/ Another article I found on writing motivation.

You also find a writing buddy on NaNoWriMo forum, to keep each other in check.