Confession #5: I hate endings

I hate endings. . .
I hate writing them.
I hate reading them.
I hate when the book is done.

I love the fresh, new beginning. The nervousness, the excitement of the unknown. NOT endings, I hate how all endings are just over.

I like staying in the path. . .  just keep moving.
I love crossroads where you can stay, go back or keep going.
I enjoy look at tunnel knowing there is still a journey a head. I hate the light at the end. . . it’s over.

Sorry, I just finished reading a book. 

You put all of the energy to love or hate the characters and just as everything figures itself out . . . it’s all done.

I’m not saying some endings are bad, some are brilliant. However those who end with leaving me on the edge. This book did that . . . yes I know it’s a trilogy, so on to book two. (I’m done with my rant.)

New Writing Series: Dealing with People

I’ve learned a few things about myself and socializing over the years.

  • I really don’t think I am that good it (socializing). I always feared of saying the wrong thing growing up.
  • Now that I am older, I believe in the truth; this show who my real friends are and who can handle me, and sometimes who I can handle. (if that dress doesn’t work for you, I am not afraid to say so.)
  • I speak more when I am drinking, but I do not drink a lot. I have health issues and drinking can really mess those up.
  • I am really more anti-social as I get older. A part of it is that I don’t want to put extra energy into a friendship in which I will just used. Another part is I do like my own time for reading and writing.

So I do majority of my socializing online. I am in many writing groups. I am very social in October just before NaNoWriMo.

I have learned there are groups of people once you tell them that I writing a book or stories (and that I dream of being a famous author) . . .

I deal with each differently.

It’s not good or bad. I try not be a b**** or brat. . .

I try to treat everyone civil. (Yeah, I have my mood swings and can get jealous and cranky. It’s usually just my imbalanced hormones.)

This is my series. . . the different people I deal with as a writer.

Stuck in a web of writer’s block

I had plans for writing everyday and post a bunch of blogs. . . it has not happened because as of Dec 30th circumstances had changed.

I hope to get things back to my goals soon, but for now please be patient with me. (I think I am writing this more for myself than my few, wonderful readers.)

Many of my friends on here have been asking about me. . . I am currently numb. I just helped an ex (who was still a good friend of mine) he had gotten a liver transplant in August and was good until his sudden death a week ago. I am still trying to spin my head around this.

It started with an exploratory surgery and ended 14 days later with my ex (still a good friend) dying of cancer of his new liver, in his stomach, and lymph nodes.

I just don’t understand, I was talking to him, watching him work on physical therapy one day and two days later in tears as they announced time of death.

I had been blocked because I had been busy going back and forth from ICU to my appointments and such . . . I little time to think clearly. Now I have time, I’m just stunned.

I due plan to continue with writing, but I just do NOT know how fast it will be. (He would have wanted me to never stop my writing. I hope that he’ll be my inspiration.)