Distraction #2

First of all is 4:35 am, and I need to get to bed.

However my biggest distraction behind my health issues  . . . is the sims. I love the game because it help for story, character ideas . . . but it let’s me control what the characters do and I feel as if I am god. 

I feel I need control outside of life because my life is chose. 



I grew up witnessing and being in violence and fighting are triggers for my depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I want people happy, not hurt or fighting. Sims helps me with it, but it distracts me from my writing and what I need to do. 

I need to limit sims time so I can have my virtual video game cake  and eat or play it too. 

Advertisements

Relations vs writing part 2 

I posted this in November Balancing Romance and Writing . . . 

Summary: I had a guy who I wanted to be my boyfriend for about six weeks, but we are in two different places in our lives. However we agreed to be just friends, and I am glad to have him in my life ( minus the his complaining.)

Most people ( minus my supporting mom and brother) say I write too much, but my friend said it was okay for me to write

I tried to write while he worked, so when he was home, I could spend time with him. I was trying to give my undivided attention to him as I learned in the past that I annoyed others being stuck in my own world. 

The thing is that the longer I stay away from my writing, the less of myself, I feel. . .

I know who I am. . . 

  • I am a writer and storyteller! 
  • I am brutually honest and yet vividly creative.
  • I can not leave the house for days at a time with my head in a tablet or computer screen.
  • I love lists and have scheduled my life around my writing. 
  • I’m a creative mess, but I am a damn good, semi-organized researcher. 
  • I need someone who encourages me. 


I do not need . . .

  • Someone who wants kids. ( I prefer my four pawed babies, cats.)
  • Someone complaining that we had another slow-cooker dinner, (please be grateful I am a damn creative and good cook.)
  • Someone who doesn’t want to be immortalized in my written work, (because a high chance he will inspire a character or two or ten.)
  • Someone who says I write too much. 
  • Someone who says I am too messy.
  • Someone who says I am too moody ( when it comes to writing, I’m not cranky, I’m passionate.)

  I’m not a family originated female. I’m fine with that. I’m fun, positive, talkative, and perky. I’m auntie Becky and I’m fine with that. 

I just need someone who understands. . . I’m a writer. I will not change myself for anyone!

If a guy cannot handle that then he needs to find someone else

Writing vs the Holiday

  1. I love to write.
  2. I love to cook.
  3. I love to bake.
  4. I love to color.
  5. I love to listen to music. (And sing along)
  6. I love to watch movies.
  7. I love to go shopping.

    Most of these are in random order, except my writing. I love to write. It is my passion. 

    So with the holidays, I am always busy in the kitchen. I am making the turkey this year, and I will be very busy Thursday and Friday with my male friend. (Long story, but I’ll explain in my other blog soon. Http://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com )

    I want to double my word count for the rest of of Nanowrimo.  I hope I get to 50,000 words by November 30th. 

    I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive

    I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. 

    Writing for me, even just 5 minutes or 8 hours is something special.

     It is a chaotic, artistic, sweet moment to see my colorful thoughts go from black and white to color again. 

    So I hope I get sometime to write. I still need to cook and hang out with my friend. 

    All situations can be written. . .

    I was stood up Saturday instead of just waiting for two hours, I outlined part 2 for my book. (Yes, making the best of my anxiety, time, and my Nanowrimo prep.)

    So I waited hours for the bozo to not show, and I was frazzled. What made it worst was when I gave him a chance after he begged for it, and I told him it would NOT work with the distance. Then after two hours of waiting, saying he was going to be there, he texts me saying: it‘s not working for me

    No crap!

    So what do my muses do? They nag me to write about it, and put it my novel I am working on.  3350 words later I have a scene to add into my story.  I know it’s before nanowrimo but I wanted to write while all feelings were fresh in my head. The migraine was worth the Saturday night of writing. 

    Thank you . . . Muses (in no particular order )

    • Rebekah
    • Kelly
    • Emma
    • Chlorine
    • Starre

    Introducing to my characters. . . 

    These are the main character to both my books:

    The Whispering Path 

     The Broken Path. 

    Lucy is the main character. . . Yes, story involves around her. She has a gift and curse. . . She is a ghost whisperer. She can communicate with the dead and sometimes they are nicer and more grateful than the living. She is trying to find her place in this world, but things always seem to get complicated. 

    Valin is her complicated half boyfriend, half friend, but full drama king. He always seems to find trouble, even when not looking. At first, he liked how she allowed him to be himself, but his obsession such as ghost hunting and dealing with different spiritualities, change him. (He is drawn more to his own dark side. He has used Lucy’s gift to get attention.)

    Lyric is her crush and first half boyfriend. He is there more when it’s convenient for him. He knows she is crazy about him, and uses it to his advantage. He; however, trusts Lucy more anyone. They have a bound with the paranormal after his first girlfriend Daisy died while he and she were in high school. He is the very moody artist type who puts alot of his feelings in his art, drugs, alcohol, and sex. 

    Paige is Daisy cousin who looks similar to Daisy and pulls in Lyrics interest, but then he gets flustered when she doesn’t act like her cousin. He feels if he leaves her, he will leave Daisy. She knows he is in love with Daisy and since she had a crush on him when she was younger, she uses her cousins similar looks to her advantage. They stray apart,  but stay together for their kids. 

    Verona is wife to Vincent. They were together since high school, and neither one seen themselves with anyone else. Verona dated Valin first, but then meet his friend Vincent and the rest was history. She gets off having sex in public.

    Vincent was madly in love with Verona at first sight of her thigh high black boots and gothic look. He loves the fact that she is into everything he is drinking, weed, ghost hunting, watching sports drunk, parties, and lots of sex. Vincent and Verona are always in Valin house and store more than their own. 

    Autumn Lucy’s ex best friend high school. She put drama, gossip, and boys over her best friend. They parted and Autu,n got pregnant her senior year. They have not looked at things the same afterwards. 
    Why I say half boyfriend’s? I feel that the relationships she has with both Lyric and Valin are not complete. Valin is more complete  than she is with Lyric, but secretly she wants Lyric more. 
    All character (c) Rebekah Quinne and Rebekah Wolveire 2010-2017

    What my Muses look like

    What my Muses looks like. . . .

     

    Rebekah has sandy blond hair, piercing blue eyes.  She has a flat stomach but curvy breasts and hips. With the right dress you can see the hour glass shape. Her back and legs are solid muscle, toned but not bulging. She loves to wear leggings, sport bras when working out, but jeans and sweaters at business meetings.

    Just under Rebekah’s office we have a gym with exercise bikes, weights, treadmills, yoga area, and hot tub. It helps my muses stay in shape and focus.

     

    Jack has sparkling blue eyes, spiking light brown hair, and very nice, inviting smile. He sometime will have a rugged look; with a 5 o’clock shadow. He barely works, but has a fast metabolism which helps him easily keep a 6 pack.  He usually wears tank tops and shorts, but the other muses like him when he is just in a towel.

     

    Chlorine has natural blue-green eyes, but usually wears her violet contacts with her different hair styles or wigs. She looks amazing all natural, on her face, but rarely wears it that way. She has been known to spend more time on herself than her writing ideas. She rather shop until she notice that too many other muses are making weak situations and characters. Then she adds her two cents.

     

    Emma has brown eyes and jet black hair. She loves the smoky look for her eyes or extreme make up.  She loves her high fashion, and she likes when her characters are rich enough to look good or she even make them steal to look good. She loves to be serve and gossip, so she is always in drama.

     

    Mary has dyed her hair black-blue which looks well with her pale skin and green eyes. She wear gothic make up, not white, but highlighting her eyes in black, and a purple lipstick. She think being gothic that it’s like facing her fears.  She is short just barely 5ft mostly 4’11” so her leather trench coat is even longer on her.

     

    Luna is also short at 5’2” but she is cute with chin length red hair and green eyes. She wear thick black sparkling glasses. She has freckles and looks as if she is in her teens. She is the youngest muse, but still over age 21. She is slightly chubby but loves to wear jeans, and her tee shirts with crazy sayings. Like “Don’t go to be angry, stay up and plot revenge.”

     

    Sandy has sandy hair and teal eyes. She only has a natural look whether she has make up or not. She loves to wear summer dresses.  She hates to work out, but she knows it the only way she looks so good in the summer dresses. She is my romantic girl.

     

    Kelly is then with crystal blue eyes and beach blonde hair. She has bleached teeth so her teeth look whiter with her red lipsticks. She rarely eats, because she secretly believes she is fat.  Rebekah sneaks vitamins in her coffee to keep her going. She wears low cut jeans or skirts and shirts that always show her belly button ring.  She does not wear underwear.

     

    (Zoe had dark blue eyes and black hair. She had a swimmer’s body. She would swimming naked and did nudge yoga. She didn’t wear clothes unless she had too and when she did she loved robes . . . in which she would only tie loosely.)

    Starre has mood changing eyes . . . they are hazel with specks of blue. It depends on what she wore to be what color they would be. She knew if she wore white eye shadow she would make her eye shine blue.  She loves to wear lingerie without undies. She loves being a tease as much as she loved writing about sex.

     

    It’s like the movie “ Inside Out” I made characters for each of my personalities/ muses.

    A Personal Note

    I am going to a Therapist. . . I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

    I usually write in misery; it helps with conflict. However there are times where my depression is so bad I have to fight with it to just get out bed. . . so getting discipline and motivation to write are sometimes near impossible to me.

    I feel currently I am in a Sonic The Hedgehog game, “the casino level” where I am stuck in a valley of the bouncy wedges. You try to get out, but you bounce right back in the damn valley.
    I feel like that now. . . I help out, something goes good, I help some more, something gets screwed up and I am back in the damn valley. Grrrrr.
    It’s hard to write when I feel personally stuck.

     

    sonic-the-hedgehog-2-casino-night-zone-boss-robotnik

    A lot has gone on within the last six months. I will post more about that on my personal site. http://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com

    However I am here because I am struggling, but I count each word, each sentence, and each page full of words a victory.
    I really wish I could just write without this damn gray cloud over my head.
    I just really feel discouraged. I want to feel productive, but I just feel like an empty drone in everyone’s way. I feel like my pen’s ink will dry up while I untangle my thoughts.
    I hope my characters are not suffering like I am.

    I appreciate the inspiration and motivation where I can get it.

    th