Milestone

It’s been a rough year for my writing. I’ve been fighting several health issues: carpal tunnel, migraines, nausea, depression and anxiety. I’ve been healing from my hysterectomy as well.

Most of my writings had been my therapy as the three therapists this year didn’t do much. The third one at least tried.

On November 27th of this year (2023,) I hit the million word mark.

However the milestone kind of feels mute, empty and a pointless victory, as I do have books written but only one book is technically published. (I pushed it too fast because create space gave me a deadline. It really needs a major edit.)

80% of my writing this year was either lists, spiritual, and therapeutic.

If it wasn’t for my amazing and creative boyfriend, then I wouldn’t have written much creative writing at all.

There have been days where I didn’t write, because of the pain in my hands or throbbing in my head. My headaches were so bad and got worst in the fall. They made my left eye get white dots and what I call sludgy eye fig. It made it hard to read, write or just watch TV. My doctors (talked to more than one) say it’s hormonal or seasonal and caused by dust and dry air.

I’m getting carpal tunnel surgery in January, but I’m not sure about the headaches.

Meanwhile I feel like I’m in a mental prison because I cannot get my ideas out.

But I did get my millionth word. The millionth word was ghosts. It’s irony as I am supernatural and horror writer.

My dream is to publish my books and make a living a creative writer/author. I also want my own podcast and work with on my own spiritual path and the occult.

Word count obession

I have learned that writing a huge project like a novel or series or script or a book . . . it is NOT a one day affair. (Short stories, poems, and articles can possibility be written in a day.)
In fact, the most I have ever written in one day was just over ten k (10,000 words) . . . after average novel is between 75,000 and 90,000 words.
The day I wrote that many words: I was not cleaning, or cooking, and I had very little interruptions (which rarely happens.)
I also was so burnt out that I could barely write two day afterwards.
I learned like everything else. . . I need to take things one day at a time.
One day I could get 1,500 words,
The next day I struggle over 500 words.
The day after that I might get 2500 words
Over that weekend I might not be able to write at all. . .
It’s just a day to day thing and each word counts.



I was never into the word count until NaNoWriMo. (I was also told publisher care about word count as well as editors.) I have thousands of words that were written that were not counted. . . I used to just count pages.



I would love a genie to grant me a dollar for every word I have written. I know I would be a millionaire

Camp NaNoWriMo July 2023

I have several hand problems. . . I have had them for years. . .

Warts on my finger that are fighting back. . . .they will not go away. (I had to go to dermatologist just to get very strong cream that has made very sensitive to the sun and has messed up my skin badly. I honestly think that I got them holding a pen that someone else with the HPV virus. . . be careful what you touch. . . It’s been a throbbing, burning, and overall painful process. . . freezing them off is the next step. . . sigh.)

I have a small ganglion cyst, but it’s so small that they cannot do anything, but it feel like it’s pinching nerves up my middle finger. My middle finger twitches by itself which is kind of creepy.

I also have tendinitis and carpal tunnel. . . I wear a brace at night, but if that doesn’t help surgery will be the next option. Sigh. I get throbbing, aching, and sometimes it’s swollen.
Typing hasn’t been too bad. Holding a pen can get tricky, and have moments of spasming and I drop things.

I gave myself 30,000 words in Camp NaNoWriMo: April, but I had gotten sick and only got between 26,000 and 28,000 which wasn’t bad when I didn’t write at least ten days in April.

This past month (June) I did a 15,000 words in seven day and I did succeed in that. Yay!!! I will admit it was two projects that I was working on, but I did get the word count in.

If you asked me twenty years ago about word count . . . I would ask you why are obsessed about that, but publishers want to make sure novellas and novels have a certain amount of words.

My personal goals for Camp NaNoWriMo this time is to get a few of projects from my written word onto the computer and to work on a few other projects for my health and future issues.

I also gave myself a word goal of 30,000 words in 30 days.

Just hope I can keep my goals in spite of my hand issues.

Fears I have with Publishing

I will admit I am fighting a block. . . between my location and I’m traveling down a different path than most, I’m seeing the world at a different angle. Instead of the yellow brick road, I’m walking on the rocky marble road. . . pieces are there, but it’s more like a hop, skip, and jump instead of just walking. I miss walking, but it’s not meant for me.

I also have a few fears with publishing.

• I am afraid giving my work to many beta readers and someone is going to steal my work or I give my work out so much that no one will buy it when they can just get a free copy.
• I’m afraid of rejection, but that is a fear I will need to overcome. I need also edit before I put in a professional hands. I hate editing, but I cannot afford an editor.
• If I got professionally published, I am worried that they will rip it shreds. By the time, I publish it that it will sound nothing like what I wanted to say.
• I could go down the self publishing route, but my ghost and vampire stories will get lost into the sea of horror and supernatural books. And one bad rating is like a virus. I could have hundreds or four-five stars, but everyone read that one star.
• I use NaNoWriMo and the camps to get majority of my writing, but hitting deadline cause fear and anxiety. Even in school, I was either inspired and got it done early or I was cramping the last forty-eight hours on pots of coffee and no sleep.
• I am worried about how big the horror genre has gotten. . . I mean how will I make my stuff stand out. (I also write other genres in other names, and I know they will sell a bit better, but I am not always in the particular mood and my passion and happiness in with my ghosts, urban legends, and vampires.)

It’s also been months. . . even years since I have finished anything. . . I am giving myself a personal goal to finish at least one of my projects.



I am also working on physical and emotional health and spirituality as well, so I have a lot on my plate, but having my books in a book store and signings is one of the dreams of mine. I just do not know how to overcome this writing block and face these fears.

Update on Editing 2021

Update on NaNoEdMo 2021

I have learned that I really do NOT like to edit. I have to be in the right mood. To be honest, I have not been in the edit mood to mood edit in a very long time.

With my goal, I would have 14 hours of edit time this week, but I have 8 hours and 15 minutes. Averaging just over an hour per day. . . (I miss writing. I love creating.) I love my coffee.

I have been dealing with drama and such, I am on very little sleep. I realized with editing, I NEED sleep. (I dislike sleep almost as much as I dislike editing. I just wish I could have motivation, focus, and energy without sleep.

I keep telling myself that I cannot have a reward until I edit some. . . I did get in about hour almost two today.

I know I will have a busy week, I just hope that I will get at least 1 hour and 30 minute average per day.

The White Screen

I get ideas, but I stare at the white screen. . . completely mocking me . . .

1. You aren’t an author, you aren’t even a writer. (I technically have a book on Amazon and some on Smashwords, but I need reedit and I plan to edit three major project next month and write in April.)
2. You are a time waster. (I am researching, emotionally healing, and working on other things. I am also taking things one day at a time.)
3. You are not creative enough. ( I more creative of then this “generation” pushing all of the remakes, I at least I try to make my own characters and story lines.)
4. Get off your ass and get a “real” job. (I cannot handle people day in and out, I am way too bluntly honest for majority of this world, and with my heavy sleeping and sleep apnea, even with my CPAP I still cannot hear my alarm clock.)
5. Make money, happiness is under rated. (Money only causes more problems. I just want enough to feel secure. Then I want to write; it my bliss. When I write with my guy and my gal, it’s Heaven on Earth)
6. You are not pretty, thin, or talented enough to enjoy happiness. (Happiness does not matter whether you are thin, or beautiful or talented. . . Happiness is a choice to feel positive and hope and enjoy what you are doing. By the way, My weight or looks has nothing to do with my love of writing and creating things.)
7. All of your ideas are taken. . . (All basic concepts are written or told, but the truth is you can always spin them. Break cliches or use them in a different way. Never let it stop you from getting your story told.)
8. Your twists are not exciting enough. (I will tweak them in the edits.)
9. Everyone is bored with you (with all of the drama in my damned head, I think not. . . I am crazy enough to be arguing with the computer screen.)
10. You are a has-been and wanna-be.(I haven’t even started yet, how can I be either one of those things?)

I have so many stories to write about. I just need to get inspired and started and then simply white screen shut up and let me write.

Word Challenge update

Last Saturday, July 20th, I participate in a the 10k in 24 hour word writing challenge.

I read about from this blog, https://abookhavenx.wordpress.com/2019/07/15/write-10k-in-a-day/

I did not get 10 k, but I got 5,845 words on my thriller novel trilogy. I am almost finished with book, the first draft of the thriller trilogy and I got caught up with my Camp Nanowrimo word count.

I had been fighting depression and home issues, so I was behind. I think because of that challenge will get my goal 30k word count this month.

Its 23 and I have about seven days. . . my two goals are reaching my 30,000 word count and finishing my novel.

I really think I can do this and when I do I redye my hair purple again. Yay.

Endings, again.

I’m trying to type up the last chapter on the last novella of my thriller trilogy “Driving Lies,” and I feel like my feet are stuck in the mud.

I wrote about this once before. Actually it was funny, because it was when I was actually handwriting the ending to this exact project.

https://rebekahquinne.wordpress.com/2018/02/16/endings-3/

The thing is once I know this is done, then I have to edit this project. I’m horrible with editing. I’m a writer, not an editor. I realize that editors are so expensive.

I need a good edit before I show an agent or a publishing company.

I think I’m so afraid of rejection from these companies that I am purposefully holding myself back.

Question to my nervous self: What if they really like my work?

First Third of 2019

So far up to date I have 242,413 words written. It averages 1,939 words per day. (My goal is 2,000 words per day and I’m pretty close.)

At this rate if I keep up writing at 1,939 words per day I will be at 707,735 words by the end of the year. (My yearly goal is 750,000 words this year.)

This includes. . . (by not limited to)

• Novels
• Rewrites/edits
• Diary
• Blogs
• Lists
• Stories
• Emails/chatting(especially storytelling)
• Notes/research

Note: I try to write everyday even if its just notes, diary entries or lists. However there are some days when I’m just too weak to write. I do try my best to make it up.

Weird Amusing Bumps

I have been on a some very weird, amusing bumps on my current writing path.

I normally write about ghost stories, vampire luring karmic victims, abandoned places, and urban legends. I enjoy the horror, the dark lust, the karmic justice, and just the decent history of a good ghost story. Why did the dark evil beings simply become that way . . .

However lately my muses have me writing a light mystery romance.
I’m not sure why? I think I am the least romantic person I know.
I’m practical. . . I rather have a bouquet of pens or candy, not flowers. I HATE to dress up. I refuse to wear make-up or heels.

 If a guy can’t accept me for me, then he can just go away. (I don’t need another disappointment in my life.)

 

I’m getting off my point. I’m working on a romance story, kind of.  However my characters are on two different paths, which is not really a problem I am worried about. BUT. . .   I had to write a scene in which I argued with muses and tried for days to avoid. I had to kill my main female character’s cat. (I’m a huge cat lover and yet my muses said: the cat escaped, things like that happen, and it to build my characters closer.)

I did finally caved in. I didn’t let my muses get detailed thank God, but it was a simple phone call that I toyed over for days. Once I let my muses take over, it was written in less than hour and the band-aid was off and the main male character comforted her.

However has this happened to other writers? Have you avoid muses or a scene because it simply made you feel bad or comfortable?

 

I feel I am growing as writer and simply as person for facing it. I feel I am looking at it from the villain and hero perspective.

Maybe I’m practicing romance for scenes in my vampire novels., fanged monsters can love too.

Note: I do plan to post this light mystery romance story on my wattpadd. (Links on my pinned blog page)