Distraction #2

First of all is 4:35 am, and I need to get to bed.

However my biggest distraction behind my health issues  . . . is the sims. I love the game because it help for story, character ideas . . . but it let’s me control what the characters do and I feel as if I am god. 

I feel I need control outside of life because my life is chose. 



I grew up witnessing and being in violence and fighting are triggers for my depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I want people happy, not hurt or fighting. Sims helps me with it, but it distracts me from my writing and what I need to do. 

I need to limit sims time so I can have my virtual video game cake  and eat or play it too. 

Advertisements

Distraction #1 

My health issues. . . 

  1. My sleep patterns are off. 
  2. My depression can kill my motivation. 
  3. My anxiety can make focus scattered. 
  4. My brain never stops.
  5. I’m always trying to make myself or someone else happy. 
  6. There times I get stomachs issues or cramps that steal my attention.
  7. I get migraines that are very harsh on my eyes.


I need to see a few doctors and get this figured out. Hopefully. 

NaNoWriMo: 2017, another year gone.

SIGH. 

This is the second year, I did not reach my epic goal of 50,000 words this year. In fact, I did the same thing I did in Camp Nanowrimo. . . I gave myself the goal of 50,000, but only reached 35,000. Sigh. 

The worst part is all I have is excuses to fill in why. . . 

  1. Complicated love life
  2. Broken computer
  3. Exhaustion
  4. Errands
  5. Getting out more
  6. Depression
  7. Story is therapy  (sometimes hard to face)
  8. Movies or tv more interesting (Especially cuddling)
  9. Cannot get comfortable to write (no desk)

I just want energy to sit at a comfortable chair in front of a simple desk, with a caffeinated drink, and working computer. . . Is that too much to ask?

Writing vs the Holiday

  1. I love to write.
  2. I love to cook.
  3. I love to bake.
  4. I love to color.
  5. I love to listen to music. (And sing along)
  6. I love to watch movies.
  7. I love to go shopping.

    Most of these are in random order, except my writing. I love to write. It is my passion. 

    So with the holidays, I am always busy in the kitchen. I am making the turkey this year, and I will be very busy Thursday and Friday with my male friend. (Long story, but I’ll explain in my other blog soon. Http://beckyms1213blog.wordpress.com )

    I want to double my word count for the rest of of Nanowrimo.  I hope I get to 50,000 words by November 30th. 

    I know I have said this before, but I can make a seven course meal, clean the entire house, be on 4 hours of sleep, pay all of the bills, go shopping, and if I do not write something, I feel my day is unproductive

    I know a good meal, nice, and a clean place, feels good, but without writing, I just do not feel accomplished anything at all. 

    Writing for me, even just 5 minutes or 8 hours is something special.

     It is a chaotic, artistic, sweet moment to see my colorful thoughts go from black and white to color again. 

    So I hope I get sometime to write. I still need to cook and hang out with my friend. 

    Challenging month. . . November 

    My first book, The Whispering Path, was therapy, and even now, I need to do a serious rewrite to make it truly professional. 

    I’m writing the sequel, The Broken Path, based on the second part of my life. It is going to be a month of therapy. . . Facing my depression, anxiety, and my ptsd. Hence the title The Broken Path

    I just hope I am strong enough to face the challenge

    Challenging month. . . November 

    My first book, The Whispering Path, was therapy, and even now, I need to do a serious rewrite to make it truly professional. 

    I’m writing the sequel, The Broken Path, based on the second part of my life. It is going to be a month of therapy. . . Facing my depression, anxiety, and my ptsd. Hence the title The Broken Path

    I just hope I am strong enough to face the challenge

    Making the best

    There are nights where I will read or write all night just to see a few moments of cloudy colorful bliss. That perfect light that brings the hazy sky and foggy, misty ground together. 

    I currently do not have a constant table or desk to sit at while I write for hours.  I’ve had a lot of stiff necks and achy backs reaching around to write on the bed. 

    I’ve been hand writing 90% of the my work waiting to get my new cord, but the problem is my cord hard to find, and once I get my cord, my computer will overheat on the bed. 
    I’m trying to make the best I can only believe it will get better.